Things You Don't See Every Day #15 and #16

In the "Things You Don't See Every Day" Department:

#15 - A woman walking up Kearny Street with a big teddy bear and a blankie.

#16 - A man driving a brand new, silver BMW down California Street, with windows rolled down, shaking a maraca.

...And you wonder why I love working in San Francisco so much.

Fun Things to Do at WalMart.

If you're like me, you HATE WalMart. I'd rather eat dirt than set foot in a WalMart. But, if Hell freezes over and you do find yourself in that unholy den of sucktitude, here's a list of fun things you can do to keep yourself from losing your will to live:

• Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
  
  
• Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
  
  
• Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
  
  
• Go up to an employee and tell them, in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
  
  
• Go to the Service Desk and try to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
  
  
• Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
  
  
• Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers they can come in if they bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
  
  
• When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin crying and scream, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
  
  
• Look right into a security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  
  
• While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.
  
  
• Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
  
  
• In the auto department, practice the "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
  
  
• Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
  
  
• When an announcement comes over the loud speaker system, assume a fetal position and scream "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
  
  
• Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while,then yell very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"