Five

Ready?

Top 5's!

Top 5 Things I Dislike:
5. Unshowered people
4. Republicans who can't shut up / Democrats who can't deliver
3. Bad breath
2. Slow drivers
1. Broccoli

Top 5 Ways I Procrastinate:
5. Drinkin'
4. Web surfin'
3. Gamin'
2. Sittin'
1. Watching Firefly DVDs

Top 5 Quotes (said by me):
5. "You shall all bow to my will and call me your Evil Master!" (while at work)
4. "I'll give you a dollar if you'll shut up and go away." (while at a bar)
3. "Only if you'll get them to stop staring at me!" (while looking at my wife's breasts)
2. "You're telling me that Alabama's mascot is a red box of laundry detergent?" (while flat on my back)
1. "It's the best of both worlds: I get to be alive and unconscious." (while conversing about sleep)

Top 5 Quotes (not said by me):
5. No blood. No foul.
4. Inconceivable!
3. I can kill you with my brain.
2. Spooky evil toaster, spooky evil toast!
1. You say that like it's a bad thing.

Top 5 CD's I Don't Own:
5. Wham! - Make it Big
4. Edie Brickell - Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars
3. Britney Spears - Britney
2. Twista - The Day After
1. Ashelee Simpson - I am Me

Top 5 Beverages:
5. Guinness
4. Smithwick's
3. Whiskey (Highland, please)
2. Coffee
1. Coca-Cola

Top 5 Things Likely to Escape My Mouth on Accident:
5. Your mom.
4. Suck it.
3. For the love of God...
2. Shut up!
1. Cocksuckermotherfuckersonofabitch!

Top 5 Things Heard at Work... out of context:
5. "Ooh, right into the hole!"
4. "I had him on his back in 8 seconds."
3. "I want her to take a shower but she keeps dancing solo."
2. "He went in hard trying to score."
1. "I shot him in the head like six times but the bastard wouldn't die!"

Top 5 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Right Now:
5. Soaking in a hot tub
4. Drinkin'
3. Driving really fast
2. Playing the drums
1. My wife.