Huff.Puff.Damn this house!

LittleBig Addiction

2008-10-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

Right So.

A buddy of mine landed himself two Beta tickets to the Beta test of LittleBig Planet. He was kind enough to pass one over to me (as I'm the only other person he knows who owns a PS3) and I grabbed that key and ran. It took quite a while to download the game client on my pitifully slow 801.g network at home but it was well worth the wait.

Ok: Annoyances.
1. Making me play through a tutorial on the most intuitive of functions and devices drives me mad. One can only hope that there's a way disable this "helpful feature" in the Retail version.
2. uh....

Yeah, that's it for what annoys me about LBP.

My SackBoy avatar is orange and is currently sporting the Douglas Fairbanks look. He's awesome. If he could wink, he'd be my wife's favorite video game character of all time. Seriously; when he smiled and flashed the peace symbol at her, she wanted to snatch him out of the TV set and hug him.

And yes, I am fulfilling my Beta Test obligation of making a level. I won't tell you what I'm building nor will I say what set I'm basing it in. But I hope it turns out awesome.

First impressions on this game are: it looks like it will live up to the hype.

The Economy is Falling! The Economy is Falling!

2008-09-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

For the past 6 years, the American economy has been struggling. Everyday people have been scraping to make ends meet for years. Gasoline prices are so high that they're impacting the cost of EVERYTHING that has to be shipped or moved.

And the President of the United States and our Congress has done NOTHING.

But oh, the INSTANT big business starts to feel the pinch, President Bushy DEMANDS: "Congress must act!"

Fuck you, W. Bush.

I also particularly enjoy how Bushy Dubya now claims that "painful and lasting" economic damage will be done if Congress doesn't act. This coming from the man who wrecked our economy with his reckless spending and gobbled up our budget surplus with his unjustified, unwarranted, and unprovoked war on Iraq.

And Congress is no better. They're so busy pointing fingers at each other that they can't even figure out what they're doing.

But, as much as I am loathe to admit it, I have to agree with the majority of the Republicans who voted down the bailout. (and yet, the Dems still get blamed...) It's wrong. It is NOT the way to go. Yes, the market will tumble and struggle. But ya know what? It will recover. It always does.

Warren Buffet, God of Finance, thinks that the $700 million bailout plan is a joke. If the Gov't is going to buyout assets, they should do it at current market prices. Plus, the American people should see the dividends of this bailout when they finally pay off.

Oh, and when people like Bushy yipe that the money that the stock market lost yesterday because the bailout didn't happen DWARFS the cost of the bailout itself... it makes me want to punch someone.
Cuz, guess what? The market already, in less than 24 hours, recovered nearly HALF of what it lost! NEARLY HALF OF IT IS BACK!

Would the bailout have magically paid for half of itself in 24 hours?

Seriously, what are my long-term goals?

2008-09-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

I'm in the video games industry.

I currently hold one of the coolest jobs in the industry: looking at every single game that The Company (yes, I'm back at The Company) makes for Nintendo consoles. I get to look at games for week or so; not tied to ONE game for MONTHS like QA. So, short term, I'm set.

But what are my long term goals? Where do I see myself in 4 or 5 years? What do I want to do?

Most folks in the games industry start out thinking that they want to be Games Producers. But I've already been an Associate Producer. Heck, I've already been a Producer. I've been interviewed by GameBorder, OnRPG, 1UP, and IGN.

Do I want to do that again?

Maybe a Development Director? Or Technical Director? Product Management? Program Management? Maybe head up a QC/QA deparement?

...sigh.

I just don't know.

House M.D. boring / Fringe rules.

2008-09-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

I NEVER thought I'd type this, but the season opener for House M.D. was a bit on the dull side. And by "a bit" I mean "really quite" and by "dull" I mean "completely boring."

I'd like to thank the show's writers for reminding us that the characters of Chase and Cameron still exist... but seriously; how contrived were their appearances? Their roles were neither vital nor pivotal. And in light of Wilson's *real* reason for leaving, Cameron was completely unnecessary.
Not that I want them to be written off the show... quite the contrary. I'd be very happy if it somehow wound up that the new three left and old team came back. But for the time being, could their presence had relevance please? Thanks.

And gee: rectal bleeding & leprosy... already seen it a dozen times & already been done. *SNORE*

But Fringe, on the other hand: completely entertaining. The series opener last week had me chomping at the bit for more. But this week had me concerned: did FOX try to pull the same stunt on Fringe that they pulled on Firefly? I know I'm not the only person who noticed that, after the teaser opener, the next 10 minutes were a recap of the previous show... complete with reintroductions of all the characters and a reminder that Dr. Bishop has his old lab back.
This is the same stunt FOX pulled on Firefly: "Oh we don't want this introductory episode that explains who everyone is and what the situation is! We want viewers to feel like they're already in the thick of the action!!"
Which is bullshit because viewers don't feel like they're in the thick of it, they feel lost. So at least we got to see the pilot episode as the series opener.

Anywho, second episode of Fringe and Agent Dunham is still clueless, but "can do!"; Peter is still a smart-ass pain in the neck; and Dr. Bishop is still completely left of center. And best of all, I'm still completely entertained by the action + drama + black comedy. Gads, but I love the little comedic spurs in the show... especially the ones in completely inappropriate situations.

Yes... FOX, of all networks, has three shows I loves: House, Bones, and Fringe. But Fringe may quickly overtake the other two for my affections.

The King is Dead. How Long Will the King Live?

2008-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

So, as you might have heard, Gaute Godager quit Funcom because he was unsatisfied with Age of Conan.

Yeah... the guy responsible for the production, direction, and design of Age of Conan was so unhappy with how Funcom was running it that he bailed.

This raises the question:
How long will Age of Conan really last now?

I wasn't in the Beta for AoC, but I did join up about a day after retail launch. I played the game for two months and quickly got bored of it. Even after joining in with a group of about 10 other players, the game STILL got boring.

I learned after Final Fantasy Online that I should NOT hang around in MMORPGs for months and months just to make sure that I'm not missing something. And to be really honest, I should have canceled AoC during the first month and not paid for an additional month.

What I'm saying by all this is that I completely agree with Godager's sentiments on the game: it's dissatisfying. So, AoC is being run so poorly that Funcom isn't just losing players, they're losing staff.

Yeah... I can't say that I think AoC will last more than a year.

Of phones and men.

2008-09-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

So... "the dude" bailed from EA not too long ago and has started up a new company with the idea that Apple's iPhone could be the device to bridge the gap between handheld gaming systems and mobile phones.

Personally, I'm all about portable gaming. I have my game on my mobile phone (yes... MY GAME!) and I love it. But the Blackberry is NOT the Nintendo DS... and I loves my NDS with a passion that rivals Ferris' love for the Ferrari. But as you might recall, some other mobile phone manufacturers have tried (and failed miserably) at bridging this gap. The difference here being: a third-party developer is making this bet, not the hardware manufacturer.

And while I completely agree with El Guapo that the iPhone is ready and able to run any uber-fun game that you could program for it, I'd like to sit down and chat about the decision to support ONLY the iPhone. It's a niche within a niche, and while it does have a following... what are the number of consumers on that device who play games? And how many of those folks will buy games for their iPhone with some degree of regularity?

So, NY... when do you want to grab a sammich and talk? I'm all ears, buddy!

Oh, and by the way... I've got a jar of dirt.

2008-09-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

I'm back, and I'm mad as hell...

2008-09-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

ok ok... I'm not really that mad.

But yet again, Steve Jobs has opened his mouth in front of a group of people and didn't say:

"Here's what you've all been asking for: The Mac MiniTower!"

I am not the only person on the planet who has been screaming for the past 5 years that we need a headless Mac to fill the canyonesc gap between the Mac Mini and the Mac Pro.

Yes, Apple, we, the consuming public, are foaming at the mouths in anguish while we wait for you to catch a gorram clue. Why do you think that silly Psystar company is making PCs that run Mac OS? They're filling a need that you refuse to acknowledge.

How difficult is it to scale down the Mac Pro? Seriously. How tough is it to make a scaled back motherboard? And how outrageously difficult could it be to make a smaller case? Let's just half the Mac Pro and call it a day:
- Instead of two sockets that hold 4 RAM sticks, how about just one? Or, two that hold two sticks?
- Instead of two quad-core processors, we're fine with one.
- Instead of 4 hard disk drive bays, two will be great.
- Instead of two optical drive bays, one is sufficient.
- And instead of endless PCIe slots, we'll take two or three.

I know I'd be ECSTATIC if Apple offered something slightly larger than a Shuttle that offered a 3.0GHz Quad Core Intel, geForce 8800, two 500GB HDDs, one DL SuperDrive, and up to 16MB RAM. Hell, I'll even pay the Apple premium for it! A comparable PC would me around $1000. I'd pay $1,500 or even $1,700 for a machine like that, made by Apple, running MAC OSX.

But instead of something ground breaking like that... Steve Jobs comes out and says, "Lookee, you saps! ANOTHER new iPod! No no... it doesn't look at ALL like the old iPod Mini with a larger screen! No! It's NEW. You must buy it!"

I have two words for Steve Jobs:

Fuck.
You.

Oh, for fuck sake.

2007-07-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take a moment to catch up...

1. The N came back! The J-Church has been relegated back to second-class status, and the N has returned to serving King Street and CalTrain... just as God intended.

2. Ecsema fucking sucks. Just saying.

3. Ooooh, Barracuda! It's all mine! I've already attended to a number of items in my checklist.

4. Words I hear at work, in order of frequency: Fuck, shit, suck, revenue, hole, track, ass, assets.

5. Words I say at work: I quit.

6.

And now you're all caught up!

Things You Don't See Every Day #17

2007-07-02T09:42:00.001-07:00

Two pigeons got on Caltrain last Friday at the 4th & King Station. They were walking along the platform and then one stopped in front of an open train door. He cocked his head as if scoping out the opening, then, with a gentle flap, was in the train. He then wandered down the aisle into the passenger compartment. His companion, not wanting to be left out of the loop, swooped in and joined him.

I was in a different train (waiting for it to leave the station) watching... and laughing... and wishing I had a video camera.

And then.. FWOOSH! They both came flying out, followed by a Conductor.

You see, Caltrain is a Proof-of-Payment System. The pigeons had no fingers nor pockets in which to hold their tickets and so, they got escorted off the train.

Ah well.

Things You Don't See Every Day #15 and #16

2007-06-26T08:21:00.001-07:00

In the "Things You Don't See Every Day" Department:

#15 - A woman walking up Kearny Street with a big teddy bear and a blankie.

#16 - A man driving a brand new, silver BMW down California Street, with windows rolled down, shaking a maraca.

...And you wonder why I love working in San Francisco so much.

Fun Things to Do at WalMart.

2007-06-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you HATE WalMart. I'd rather eat dirt than set foot in a WalMart. But, if Hell freezes over and you do find yourself in that unholy den of sucktitude, here's a list of fun things you can do to keep yourself from losing your will to live:

Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
Go up to an employee and tell them, in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
Go to the Service Desk and try to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers they can come in if they bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin crying and scream, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Look right into a security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.
Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
In the auto department, practice the "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker system, assume a fetal position and scream "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while,then yell very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Care to Help?

2007-04-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's Friday the 13th, but so what?

I'm posting today to ask you to help.

In one week, I'm flying out to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to participate in the annual MS Walk. Why am I flying all the way across the country to take part in their walk, when there are several local walks? Here's why.

Some folks confuse MS with MD... Multiple Sclerosis versus Muscular Dystrophy. They're both devastating, but to quote from David Lander's (aka: Squiggy) book, Fall Down Laughing:

In 1978, I agreed to make a celebrity appearance for a multiple sclerosis fund-raiser in upstate New York. Knowing next to nothing about the disease, I asked the telethon director, "Why would anyone give money to MS if they already gave to Jerry's kids?" The reply was: "Anybody can get this one. People are born with muscular dystrophy, but anyone can wake up with multiple sclerosis."

So, please contribute to the cause. You might not know anyone struggling with MS today, but that could change tomorrow. Please help so we can stamp out MS now... before it impacts someone you care for.

Dear MTA, You Suck.

2007-04-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was going to spend today's entire post ranting about the horrific service from the "new and improved J Church/T Third to Caltrain" lines, but the San Francisco Chronicle has beaten me to the punch.

But, hey... it's me. So I'll do it anyway.

I left my office at 4:55. I had planned on taking 5 minutes to get the station, a 10 minute wait for my LRV (MUNI says a maximum 8 minute wait, but they lie), and a 15 minute ride to Caltrain. I'd make it to my train with over 5 minutes to spare.

So, promptly 5 minutes after I left my office, I was at the Montgomery St. Station, standing on the platform... with 20 other people who already waiting.

After 10 minutes, a two-car M rolled up and parked. And I mean PARKED. Doors open, not moving. About 2 minutes later, a two-car N rolled in behind the M and let its passengers out. 1 minute later, an L was blocked in behind both of them.

3 minutes later, the 2-car M closed its doors and scuttled out of the station. One minute after that, the N bolted from the station, leaving the L to slowly roll up.
All the while, the poor computerized voice was repeating herself, over and over, like some bizzare scene from Max Headroom or Airplane:
"Approaching, Inbound, 2-car, Embarcadero. Followed by, Embarcadero in 2 minutes. Embarcadero in 3 minutes. I am sick of this, Embarcadero, crap. Inbound trains, are, completely hosed."
At one point, I distinctly heard:
"Approaching, Inbound, 2-car Embarcadero. Followed by... In two minutes. ...In four minutes."

Then, we finally heard the voice announce a ONE car J in 4 minutes. Of course, the NextMuni led system didn't show any J lines in the loop for the next 11 minutes.

And then, after 30 minutes of waiting... a single... solitary... J Church train rolled up. And the 150 of us at the Montgomery St. Station tried to jam into it.

Most of us made it, some of us didn't. Then, at the Embarcadero stop, more people tried to cram in. A few made it. Most didn't.

The train had to make elongated stops at each station as locals tried to scramble out of the thing.

Fifty-two minutes after I left my office, I was at Caltrain. Luckily, I was able to catch the 5:56 Southbound. If I had WALKED all the way from my office to Caltrain, I'd've gotten there quicker.

So, would someone at MTA like to explain to me how a 30 minute wait for a ONE CAR J Church train is BETTER than a 15 minute wait for a 2-car N Judah?

Cuz, I'm all ears.

Reason #5 for NOT taking the 81x

2007-04-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

Whenever it rains in San Francisco, the buses fill up like a stray cat in a room full of fish paste. It doesn't matter if you're trying to take the 30, the 45, the T, the J, the N, or the express buses: they all fill beyond capacity. So, this morning being rainy, I noted that in the back of my head. When I stepped off the train and saw no T or J waiting at 4th & King, and also saw the pouring rain, I headed for the 81x.

Now, when I got on, there was just myself, and two other folks (both of whom I recognized). The seats on the bus were nearly full by the time the second train pulled into the station. (Each 81x run serves two trains.) Now, on normal days, the 81x has about half of its seats full with the first train... so I knew what was coming. Sure enough, so many people were trying to cram into the bus that the doors couldn't close.

But this NOT the reason I recommend against taking the 81x.

The 81x makes 0 stops until 3rd & Market. It stops at 3rd & Market, then stops at Post (& Kearny) and Sutter (& Kearny), before making a right turn down Bush into the heart of the Financial District.

Now, the 30, the 45, and the 9 expresses, all make those same stops on 3rd/Kearny. This is troublesome because half of the population of San Francisco takes the 30, the 45, and the various 9's to get into Chinatown. So at the three afore mentioned stops, people to try to cram into the 81x, ignoring the folks in the 81x warning them off.

That's not the real issue either. So what if those folks push in, then start crying the moment the bus turns down Bush? No biggie.

No, the real issue is the driver of the 81x trying to engage said people in conversation. Instead of simply yelling "DO NOT BOARD THIS BUS!" upon opening the doors at Market, Post, and Sutter, he talks to them.
-Person actually waiting for the 9: Where you going?
-81x driver: Where are YOU going?
-P.A.W.F.T. 9: Where you going?
-81x driver: No, where do you want to go?
-P.A.W.F.T. 9: Stockton, Jackson
-81x driver: I. DON'T. GO. THERE!

Meanwhile, the folks trying to get to work are stuck standing in the 81x waiting for this guy to shut up, close the doors, and GET MOVING.

Beyond annoying.

Man, just let them on, or wave them off. Don't try to talk with them about their bus choices.

The Day the N Left, and the 15 Died.

2007-04-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today, is a sad day.

Today is the last day that you can ride the 15... ever. And while that is sad, what saddens me more is that today is also the last day you can ride the N Judah out to Caltrain and the Ball Park.

No longer can I hop on the N and cruise the scenic ride down the Embarcadero to Mission Bay. No. As of tomorrow, I'll have to hop on either J Church or T Third. Mind you, I don't have a problem with either of those lines (other than the fact that they're single cars and will be stuffed like cannoli with commuters) it's just that I've been riding the N back and forth from Montgomery to 4th & King since it first started making the run. And that's a long time.
Not to mention the fact that N line operators have a unique sense of humor about their jobs. This morning, the N driver reminded us that on Monday, we'll need to catch the T or the J. He then commented...
"But I don't know how those single-car trains will be able to handle the folks I carry every morning. So, if you can, try to become VERY skinny this weekend!"

Now, the only time I'll ride the N is when I need to cruise on down to 11th go get a hand-held pie (damn, but those curry potato pies are GOOD!) or over to Duboce Park to watch people be silly and dogs be dogs.

So, we the faithful Embarcadero commuters say goodbye to the N.
You have served us well. We will miss you.

Mac to Airplanes: Shut up.

2007-04-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Can you hear me now?

Personally, I think all mobile phones should have some sort of override circuitry built in that allows theaters, trains, and restaurants to turn off all communications.

Either that, or they should just build in a layer of copper mesh into the walls and turn them all into giant Faraday Cages.

I've always thought mobile phones on airplanes would be a bad idea. Based on the conversations that I overhear on MUNI and Caltrain, I'd likely kill people in a plane....
[The following are actual snippets from actual conversations I've been forced to listen to...]
"So, like, I was like walking in the mall, and, like, he was all 'You don't call me enough' and like..."
"Even if she did, it doesn't matter. It is what it is. You can't change that. Her bitching about it can't make it change either."
"No. NO! That's NOT what you said! You said that you TALKED to her! You said that you talked to her last weekend and what's stressing is that you were with ME last weekend! You talked to her while you were with ME."
"Dude. Dude. DOOOD! Seriously, man. No, man. No, just no. That's a bad idea, man."
"I don't need you in my baby's life. Nuh-uh. Not if you gonna be like that. You can't be near my baby if you actin' like that."

...yeah. That's what I hear. But having to hear that over about 50 OTHER people having the same conversation in a small enclosed space like a plane... I would be pushed to kill.

Seriously, man.

The REAL Monkey Ball!

2007-03-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

OH HELLZ YEAH!

Six thousand seven hundred and seventy meters, baby! DEEP into Monkey Village, out the other side, and into Monkey Lander Territory!

I love simple one-button time-wasters. They are all that is good and right with casual gaming. Now to get this sucker onto a mobile phone...

More on the N

2007-03-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

I stink.

No, I'm not commenting on my own writing style... I actually smell horrid. And yes, I showered, shaved, brushed my teeth, and used deodorant this morning.

What happened was...

While waiting for the N Judah this morning, a person of suspect hygiene and below-standard courtesy decided to light up. He already smelled as if he'd chain-smoked 2 packs before lighting up, so this latest bath in nicotine-soaked smoke wasn't helping.
He wasn't smoking Marlboros or Camels, or I'd've stood nearby and drunk in the second-hand smoke. (Hey, shut it. I quit smoking in college, but it doesn't mean I can't have a little fun now and again.) Whatever cigs he was smoking smelled horrid and I promptly wandered away.

The N Judah arrived and we all piled in like good little lemmings... and guess who stood RIGHT next to me? Yeah, Mr. Smoky McStinkensmell.

The ride took no longer than usual... but upon fleeing the N at the Montgomery Station, I found that I could still smell Mr. McStankanreek. His stench permeated my own clothes. GRAAHH!!

I swear, if I didn't love this shirt (and loath the Gap's latest fashion disasters) I'd go buy new clothes and throw what I'm wearing away. It's beyond annoying that I now have to endure this sinus-clogging situation.

So, in the spirit of my latest trend...

Ladies and Gentlemen.
Before riding the N Judah, T Third, J Church, or M Ocean View, please refrain from making yourself stink.
If you already stink before arriving at the MUNI station or stop of your choosing, please refrain from making it WORSE.
If it's the morning and you've showered, and yet you already stink: you're doing it wrong. Please watch Sesame Street and learn how to bathe.
If you don't know whether or not you stink, or you've applied cologne, perfume, or both; trust us: you stink.

Thank you for riding MUNI.

Top Ten Ways I Know You've Never Ridden the N Judah

2007-03-16T12:50:00.000-07:00

So, I've been taking the N Judah again. I actually like it. It's usually diametrically opposed to me hoofing it over to 4th/Stockton and getting on the smelly, cramped, sweaty, unfriendly 30 or 45. The N Judah is welcoming. And the recorded gal that comes on in the underground sounds hawt...
"Approaching... Inbound... 2 car... N N... followed by... 1 car... J... in two minutes."
Yeah, baby.

But I digress. As I used to take the N back in the days when I first worked up in the City, I'm a veteran. Heck, I remember when the N first started making the trip out to Caltrain.

Now that I've started once again riding the N, I've noticed... noobs. No, not newbies, noobs. Yes, there is a difference. Therefore, in the spirit of making fun of people:

Top Ten Ways I Know You've Never Ridden the N Judah Before

10. You walk in, stand there, and glance from side to side. [You should know where you're going before you get on the train.]

9. You walk in and don't sit down or hold on. [Like the taste of that floor do ya? I doubt a bum has peed there... recently.]

8. You act annoyed when someone makes you move your breifcase so they can sit down next to you. [Dude, it's a packed train. You should get your lazy ass up and let that old lady sit down!]

7. You try to drink your double half-caff no-foam with-whip extra-hot grande mochaccino. [Coffee looks good on you! Really it does!]

6. You whip out your new iPod and start poking at it. [Good way to get it ripped from your hands.]

5. You start rummaging around through your bag/purse/briefcase. [We don't mind seeing your life spilled all over the floor.]

4. You whip out your new Treo/BlackBerry and start poking at it. [see #6]

3. You try to have a conversation with the person next to you. [Uhm... the whole car doesn't care what you're doing tonight.]

2. You take out your celphone and try to hold a conversation. [see #3]

And The Number One Way I Know You've Never Ridden the N Judah Before:
1. You curse & get agitated every time the N stops for no apparent reason.

*sigh*

Yeah.

The View From Up Here

2007-02-20T12:57:00.000-08:00

So, the view from the 6th floor of a building in the financial district rarely affords any sort of excitement. Rarely, but not never.

Ah, the excitement of a fire scare.

The building's elevator lobbies all locked down and security got on the broadcast system and said, ever so reassuringly, that there was "a fire alarm in the lower part of the building." Gee... ya think?

We actually wound up having two ladder trucks, one pump truck and one EMT truck all parked out front. And... it wound up being one of the building's ventilation compressors blew. These things all have redundancies built in , so no one in the building noticed, but when the dead one died, it let off enough smoke to trip a sensor in the basement.

And much distraction was had by all.

And so goes Chrysler

2007-02-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

I'm guess that I am one of the few people who remember that, not so long ago, it was the Chrysler arm of DiamlerChrysler that was profitable and was carrying its other-shores counterpart.

And now that Chrysler is hurting, the folks on the other continent are more than happy to discuss selling. Et tu, Dieter?

Anyway, in today's post at Penny Arcade, Tycho, when commenting on Sony's hostility towards its own consumer base, had this to say:

They're completely severed from their customers.

And the same could be said of Chrysler/Jeep/Dodge.

For some deranged reason, CJD is clinging to the belief that consumers want fucking titanically immense pickup trucks, minivans the size of condos, and cars that make the 1961 Lincoln Continental look smallish.

I mean, it doesn't take a genius to stand up and LOOK AROUND.

Hmmm... that new Mini Cooper thing that BMW has out... It's been around for a few years now, and its still so popular that you can't walk into a dealership and drive one away.

Oh, look! VW has rebadged the Golf back to the "Rabbit" and in the scant 8 months that it's been on the market, it (like the Mini) does not offer immediate gratification as standard.

Those silly looking hybrid vehicles by Toyota and Honda are still selling like hotcakes...

And Chrysler sees the future of its company tethered to oversized fuel INefficient 4-cylinder engines and V6s and the testosterone laden HEMI.

Granted, I want a Dodge Challenger with a HEMI as much as the next guy, but that one car is NOT going to save a company. Especially not one that continues to crank out the large & unweildly Caravan and the supremely UGLY Durango. And that Jeep Liberty? COME ON! They KILLED the Cherokee line for that ugly thing?

The Neon was killed by the PT Cruiser. And the PT Cruiser is on the outs. There is no car that you can look to as being "uniquely Chrysler".

And there is not one single CJD product that's fuel efficient. And don't say the PT Cruiser! It's NOT. Compare it to the VW Rabbit, the Mini Cooper, the Honda Civic, even the VW Passat Wagon and you'll see (very quickly) what a JOKE the Chrysler 4-Cylinder is. A manual transmission PT Cruiser gets 21 city, 27 highway... an AUTOMATIC VW Passat gets 22 city, 31 highway.

Not to mention the fact that consumers get a LOT more bang for their buck on most other autos than on CJD vehicles.

Please, Chrysler/Jeep/Dodge... WAKE UP. You already killed my beloved Plymouth badge. Let's not see the whole MoPar line die.

Boston: 1/31/07, We Must Never Forget

2007-02-01T13:00:00.000-08:00

So, you've heard all the hubbub surrounding these so-called "devices" that were found in the "supposed" City of Boston on Jan. 31.

Now, I'd like to say something as a person living in a city not run by folks with chips on their shoulders:

Dear Boston Public Officials,
You overreacted.
You are now the laughing stock of the U.S. of A.
Please calm down and realize that there were no similar "scares" in ANY other City where this promotional campaign was launched. Please cease your very frightening Orwellian actions now.
Thank you.

Now, it's specifically the City Officials who are "outraged" by the marketing campaign. Public officials in Boston were frightened by, what one Bostonian called, "a Lite Brite". I fail to see how a bunch of LEDs resembles a bomb. I'd imagine that most folks attempting to place bombs would NOT put a bunch of glowing lights on them... and would NOT place them where people could easily see them.

And if you're looking for proof that the City of Boston's officials are looking to shift blame from themselves and scapegoat those poor artists... here:

“It’s clear the intent was to get attention by causing fear and unrest that there was a bomb in that location,” Assistant Attorney General John Grossman
said at their arraignment.

What's clear, Mr. Grossman, is that you're a reactionary with no concept of reality. I did, however, find the comments made by "the defendent's" attourney particularly poignant:

Outside the courthouse, Michael Rich, a lawyer for both of the men, said the description of a bomb-like device could be used for any electronic device.
“If somebody had left a VCR on the ground it would have been a device with wires, electronic components and a power source,” he said.

Yawp. Bostonian Jennifer Mason has this comment:

“It’s almost too easy to be a terrorist these days. You stick a box on a corner and you can shut down a city.”

Well, she's right.

It's a frightening world we live in where posting electronic advertisements for your TV show can land you in jail with charges of terrorizm levelled at you. A very frightening world, indeed.

Just One Step Away From Plugging Ears & Humming

2007-01-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

President G. W. Bush heard from the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He heard from the National Security Agency & the National Security Council. He heard from the leaders of both parties in the House and the Senate. He heard from the American people.

Then he made a little speechy-speech... in which he outlined a plan... that ignores everything everyone told him.

I disagree with people who characterize this action as that of a man with conviction.

This is the action of man who doesn't know when to let go.

Apple Deilvers the Newton...

2007-01-10T08:02:00.000-08:00

...as it was meant to be.

About a decade later, Apple ~~Computer~~ Inc. delivers a super-smart phone that not only allows you to make calls, but, well, the damn thing is a computer. It's tiny, it's pretty, it has touch capability and handwriting recognition, it allows you to surf the real Internet, it manages data, it takes pictures, it plays music, it raises your sense of self worth. It's everything Apple wanted the Newton to be and then some.

Hey, it only took two tries to get it right. Sure, there was a sizable time gap between the two versions, but still...

Anywho, the device is cool, but way overpriced. Alpha Buyers will rush to get it, but as an experienced Apple Consumer ~~whore~~, I'll be waiting until the kinks are all ironed out and the price drops.

Now the AppleTV device... there's something I'm tempted to pre-order.

Resolution

2007-01-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah. I forgot.

My New Year's Resolution is 1280 x 1024.

The Next One.

2007-01-01T10:58:00.000-08:00

It's not just "next year", but also...

It's the next in my music video series for the Lord of Rings movies.

Yes, nearly a year later, I've finally completed the second video. This time out, it's an homage to the movement within the movie "The Two Towers" set to Pink Floyd's "Run Like Hell."

You should go check it out.

More later.

Umbrellas: Operators License Required

2006-12-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's been raining in San Francisco all week.

This means two, unavoidable, things:
1. All MUNI buses will have the heat CRANKED to the max, and
2. Umbrellas in abundance

The reason that the heat on MUNI warrants a mention is that it's NOT cold. We're all wearing coats because of the rain, so a bus at 60 degrees is fine. Unfortunately, the bus drivers are all cold-blooded and must have the heat turned on the instant the temperature inside the bus dips below 69.
AND, since folks are too fscking lazy to raise their arms, all the windows on said buses are closed tight. The whole bus becomes one giant, smelly, sweaty, steamy, hot box. No, I am NOT exaggerating. Worse still: I am, apparently, the only person who finds it offensive.

Now, the umbrella issue is different, but more dangerous.

When I last worked in San Francisco, only a handful of people used umbrellas. Most folks wore coats with hoods, or a nice hat. The sidewalks on Market Street and in the Financial District are wide, but not THAT wide. I mean, you try walking down Montgomery St. at 8:45 am and you'll see what I mean.
So, you get a LOT of people milling about, all walking different speeds, carrying umbrellas at various heights, talking on their cel phones, holding a cup of coffee. You know what happens in this scenario? I get stabbed by the pointy metal tips on the open umbrella... stabbed in the head, the shoulder, and the back... repeatedly.

No less annoying is when you get the pack-o-coworkers walking down the sidewalk... side-by-side... with open umbrellas... making it impossible for anyone to walk past them. I was stuck behind just such a pack this morning. I said, "Pardon me" as I was behind them. They were too busy overusing the word "like" to hear me. I said, "PARDON me" in a much louder voice. One of them turned to glance in my direction. "I'd like to get past," I said at her. She audibly sighed as if my statement was a 20 pound weight placed on her back.
"HEY! He asked nicely! Now get the &*@# out of the way before I knock you down," shouted a 20-something gal in a dark-blue hoodie. I hadn't seen her because my own hood destroys peripheral vision... but she was singularly the most lovely gal I'd seen since leaving the house. (Mainly because she championed my cause!) The gaggle parted, and we umbrella-haters walked through.

Seriously, people should have to pass a test and carry an Umbrella Operators License before being able to purchase one. Common sense is completely inadequate when it comes to handling an umbrella. Either that, or, as Voltaire said: Common sense is not so common.

days go by...

2006-12-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

...I catch myself smile. More than you'd ever expect.

As you may be aware, it's been about 4 months since my last post. Yes, I still own the best car evar (My 2006 Black 2-door Rabbit), yes I'm still married, yes I'm still living on the Peninsula... NO, I don't still work at EA.

For those of you who didn't know, from 2001 to a few months ago (2006) I worked at Electronic Arts. I made decent, but not great money and worked preposterous hours every Spring and Summer. And sensing a pending disturbance in the force (aka the coming of the Wii) I bailed. There were already 10 real reasons why I shouldn't have been working there, and adding in an even worse work schedule with the prospect of my hating a game system I'd been looking forward to for a year made it all too much.

So I quit.

But, as so often happens in my life, I had about a month of blissful downtime, and promptly found an even better job. I'm still in the gaming industry and now have the coveted word "Producer" in my title, and I work in San Francisco again, and I'm commuting on the train, and I get my cappuccino every morning, and I'm losing weight from all the walking, and the folks I work with are crazy & cool and... well, to put it bluntly: I'm happy.

I'm so noticeably happy that I apologized to my lovely wife for being a crab for the past 4 years.

So now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.

OoooOoooOoooOoooOooo.

Goodbye, Pluto

2006-08-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

Why? Why mess with a good thing?

This is just silly. I mean, weren't they just debating on whether or not the icy UB313 was going to be called a planet?

And now they've demoted the already much maligned Pluto from a planet, to a "dwarf planet" and we're down to only 8 planets in the solar system.

I say that's poop. I say we all band together and start a revolution!

Reinstate Pluto Now!

Exploits of Nothing

2006-08-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

Usually, the stuff over at www.ytmnd.com is easily categorized as one of the following: trite, silly, crude, homophobic, agist, sexist, pornographic, or racist. Every now and then, you'll get amuzing or downright hilarious. Even more rare is the transcendental. But I stumbled across an entry that was downright inspired.

"You're The Man Now Dog" is not exactly the sort of website one expects to find a page made by someone with religious convictions, but there you have it. Sort of like finding a nice clock in a scrap heap or forged metal spike in the middle of a field of heather.

Anyway, just drawing your attention to it.

Just Stop Giving Him a Soapbox.

2006-08-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

I've bashed Jack Thompson, Esq. on previous posts, but honestly, I'm just sick of him. I mean... you go to the circus sideshow and you see BoBo the Monkeyboy. At first, you're thinking "Wooo... that's just freaky!" But then, you see BoBo again a half hour later, and you think "Huh. Well." And then, you see him again an hour after that and you just feel sorry for him. Then, two hours later and another trip past his show and you get angry at the circus for putting him on display.

And that's where I am now. This little clip of The Loop just fuels my ire. The man is clearly not playing with full deck.

Mark Friedler responds to a question by saying that his 4 and 6 year old sons punch and kick each other and they've never played a video game.

Adam Sessler says that parents are responsible for monitoring what their kids play.

Jack Thompson says that's NOT the issue.

And THAT is what's wrong with America today, folks. Parents ARE responsible for what their kids do. Parents ARE responsible for monitoring what games their kids play and shows they watch on TV.

Until everyone in the U.S. accepts that as FACT, the government will never stop trying censor, monitor, restrict, and outlaw games, shows, and books that it finds questionable. That sure doesn't sound a Free Republic to me. Sounds more like Fascism.

Thing to [never] Do In Your New VW Rabbit

2006-07-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, I bought one of the covetted 2006 VW Rabbits. The last black two-door in the area. It begs to be driven. It begs to be driven FAST. And that 6-speed Tiptronic transmission, AWESOME. Oh, if you're wondering what happened to the last new car I bought, let's just say that I got sick of it not having anti-lock brakes. Now, I just didn't just go out and buy this car. I did some research and even test drove a Mini Cooper first. But the Rabbit wins. Hands down. Better performance, more comfortable ride, and thousands less than a comparably equipped Mini Cooper.
The sticker price of a comparable Mini is $4,000 more than what I paid in total for my Rabbit. Then add in tax, licensing, destination charges, and the fact that the dealership was upfront in saying that they mark UP the Minis about $1,000 and will not negotiate a price, and the Rabbit actually cost over $8,000 less!
So anywho, here are some helpful tips from me to you on Things That You Should ~~Never~~ Do in a 2006 Volkswagen Rabbit, should you purchase one.

~~Never~~ stomp on it "just to see how fast it will really go"
~~Never~~ race Mini Coopers (their drivers really hate losing)
~~Never~~ punch it off the line
~~Never~~ play "auto tag" with new Mustangs
~~Never~~ throw it into Sport Mode, downshift, and drop the hammer on some punk who's going only 70 in the fast lane.
~~Never~~ tell your wife how fun it is to drive.

Just so we're clear, the new Rabbit has an inline 5-cylinder engine that cranks out 150 horsepower and 170 ft/lbs of torque. While it is about 500 pounds heavier than the Mini Cooper, the extra 30% more horsepower and 55% more torque makes up for it... and then some. Plus, the extra weight makes for a much more comfortable ride and aids in handling. Oh, and I'm not comparing the Rabbit to the Mini Cooper S. Let's be fair here. You'd compare the GTI to the Mini Cooper S.

...the Rabbit is a damn fun car.

House Democrats Win Hugs From Me.

2006-07-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

So that whole plan by the Defense Department (which was fully back by the White House) to CHARGE U.S. citizens to flee a war-torn Lebanon, was finally scrapped.

I would like to give House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi a big hug for this statement:

"A nation that can provide more than $300 billion for a war in Iraq can provide the money to get its people out of Lebanon," Pelosi said on CNN.

Yeah, hugs to the Democrats!

No, not a Martini.

2006-07-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

I added the "Hawthorn" to my list of approved Martini-type beverages while the wifey and I were in Monterey two weeks ago.

Before I get into it, I'll start by saying that, by and large, I completely and wholeheartedly agree with Joseph Dobrian:

While it is true that you can follow [a martini] recipe, substituting vodka for gin, and produce a liquid that some people will drink, believe me, it is not a martini, not no way, not no how. It is a concoction suitable only for those who have no soul and less guts.

I have nothing against vodka, but a martini is made with gin. You want vodka and dry vermouth? Order a kangaroo.

I have, and ever shall be, a proponent of the Gibson. But, I now add to the short list of acceptable libations other than the traditional Gibson: the Chicago Martini (aka the Collection Martini) and the Hawthorn. The Hawthorn is 2 parts vodka, one part gin. (NO, it is NOT a Hawthorn Martini, it is a Hawthorn.) When made with Grey Goose & Bombay Sapphire, and served on the rocks, it's great. But it really needs to be ice cold or on the rocks. When it starts to warm up... *shudder* rubbing alcohol comes to mind. This is one clear beverage that it is acceptable to shake.

But it still annoys me that I have to explain to bartenders what a Gibson is. So far, only ONE restaurant/bar I've ever been to hasn't questioned me on the Gibson. Hrmph. "Gibson, wet" is a lot easier to say than "A gin martini with 3 onions, 1/2 ounce of vermouth".

When we were in Washington DC at the end of May, I ordered a Gibson at the bar in our hotel (Hotel Sofitel) and the gal asked, "Bombay Sapphire?"

I nearly fainted.

And it was PERFECT. We wound up hitting the bar nearly every night we were there because the Gibson was a source of instant and pure joy!

The Day the Internet Was pwn3d.

2006-07-01T12:42:00.000-07:00

By now, you've likely heard of "Eon8", the ambiguous/mysterious website.

With oh so scary words like "deployment" and "tracking" and map of the world with little points marked on high-population areas, it sure didn't folks long to get all paranoid about it.

My pals over at Unfiction had several items sorted out by decoding some of the "information" that was posted on Eon8. My guess of viral marketing was incorrect. (The Unfiction guys are GOOD. I helped out in the early states of "Perplex City" but just a little.)

Eon8, in a nutshell, was all nothing. Just a silly social experiment.

However, the crew responsible for Eon8 have made some rather suspect conclusions/deductions based on the responses of web denizens. They were trying to guage reaction based on the fact that so little was known about Eon8... but at the same time, they employed every single stereotypically/psychologically "scary" method employable on the web.
- A blank black background
- White text only
- A black & white map of the world with "sites" marked
- A "deployment" counter (counting down, not up)
- Repetitive use of codes and "encoded" information

Sorry for the over use of quotes in there, but if you've read up on Eon8, you'll understand the use.

Anywho, I'd call their experiment a failure from the outset. The site was NOT ambiguous. The folks who set it all up were TRYING to get people to react to it. You can't guage reaction when you're actively eliciting a reaction.

If they had made the same site instead using:
- A white background
- Blue text
- A color map of the Earth
- A clock (not a countdown timer)
- Ambiguous/nonsensical statements (not using any sort of code)

...their little experiment would have gone completely unnoticed.

Yeah sure guys, the joke is on us. But guess what, you still failed.

Anna the Bot... and other stuff

2006-06-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

And it has apparently hit the charts or something in Europe.
...bans all the spammers... oy.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle...

Apple consistently delivers stuff that I've wanted since I was a kid. The original iBook, the G4 Cube, the alunimum PowerBook, AirPort, the Mac mini, GarageBand, and AirPort Express.

AirPort Express with AirTunes (my latest techno acquisition) is the awesomest. Since I already have a real AirPort base station, I was able to get the AirPort Express set up in my livingroom (all hooked into my stereo and everything) in about 2 minutes. Two minutes. Just two minutes and I was able to stream music from any computer in the house to the stereo.

I don't understand why more technology doesn't work this way. Plug it in, it goes. Done. I've heard other people complain that computers are too hard to figure out and they should be easier... as easy to operate as a car. Personally, I beleive that's grossly over-simplifying. That's like saying that assembling an M1-Abrams should be as easy as making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Not that working a computer is that difficult, but it's a matter of comparing apples to wrenches.
But back to the other thing; laugh at the simplicity of Apple products if you will, but face it: the more easy it is to use, the more likely it is that folks will use it. And the more easy it is, the more baffling it is as to why everything isn't that way. To paraphrase Arthur C. Clarke:

Any technology distiguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Anywho... I do sometimes miss my tangerine iBook. *sigh* It was a well travelled iBook... San Diego, CA - San Francisco, CA - Kona, HI - New York, NY... and I hope that it's still travelling.

*sniff*

I know where Matt is.

2006-06-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

By now, you've all heard of Matt, the 29-year old from the Northwest U.S. who travelled the world on a low budget, only to dance everywhere he went.

Well, did you know he's done it a few times? Did you know he just put out his newest video... with footage of himself dancing on all 7 continents?

Did you know that I'm only slightly jealous of him... he being a few years younger than I am and he's been to everywhere except Greenland... I'd like to see Mayan temples and Angkor Wat...

Did you know he works in the same industry that I'm in?

I know where Matt is.

Things to NEVER do...

2006-06-26T18:01:00.000-07:00

1. Never let anyone bring you more than 1 margarita per hour.
2. Never eat a whole bag of prunes in one sitting.
3. Never pour the crumbs of a bag of pretzels into your mouth.
4. Never rub your eyes after handling a jalapeno.
5. Never eat a bag of Clamato Chips.

Don't eat horses, Snake.

2006-03-20T18:52:00.000-08:00

Ah... the joys of fan subbing.

*laughs*

And *laughs some more*

The blog.

2006-03-06T19:09:00.000-08:00

I asked my lovely wife the other day if she checked out this blog o' mine.

"Nope."

So you're not interested in what I have to say up there?

"It's not that."

Ok, so what is it?

"If it's important, you'll tell me about it."

Damn. She's smart.

The trouble with living with someone for this long is that they get your patterns down. We all have our own rhythms; a certain cadence to what we do, how we act, how we process information. She has got me all dialed in.

She used to ask me what I was thinking about, or what was going through my head... This morning, I kid you not, she told me to stop thinking so loud; I was making it hard for her to concentrate.
"What? I was just thinking about how-"
"I know. Just relax for a minute. I'm trying to hear myself."

Damn.

Wax. Poetical.

2006-03-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

There's a part of me that thinks I should be more prolific in my writing up here.

I do a lot of that writing thing and this blog does no justice to that fact. I write nearly constantly. I often have so much verse in my head that my damnable fingers can't keep up and I invariably miss words, phrases, even entire sentences due to the digital lag. ("Digital"; meaning "of the fingers" not "data stored in the form of numerical")

Scenes pop into my head and need to be described. Characters appear and have voices that speak, shout, cry, laugh, and various othersuch; and they demand to have their musings set to paper, digital or otherwise. ("Digital"; meaning "data stored in the form of numerical" not "of the fingers" this time.) These are usualy characters that I've previously thought up and now they have more to say. This gets tedious when I'm attempting to edit a completed work. It happens all too often: two different screenplays open in Final Draft, plus my textual sketchpad -in the form of Microsoft's Word- glowing in the background. All of them demanding my immediate attention.

I've never understood writers who say they are "done". If you're done, you're not a writer. At least, you're not any writer I've ever heard of. There is always more. And if you've done your job as a writer, the reader wants more. Which is where sequels and prequels and spin-offs come in.

In the case of one current project, I already have one screenplay completed, a second one started, and the main plots for the remainder of the series jotted down. Plus, I already have a spin-off premise. I started fleshing out the spin-off but there is too much else going on.

There's just not enough time to get it all out.

Amazingly Spot On

2006-03-01T08:12:00.000-08:00

I can't think of a more convincing argument.

This is just too true.

'Nuff said.

Found Treasures!

2006-02-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

I found myself home sick on Monday (that's two Mondays in a row home sick) and started rifling through my old CDs with the intent on getting as many as possible into iTunes.

It wasn't until last night that I found my old AlphaVille CDs. Now, I am one of the few, the proud, the die-hard fans to gotten my hands on "Dreamscapes"... which I'd imported into iTunes many moons ago. The original albums, however, I hadn't seen in a long while.

And I found them.

New to my Radio.Blog are three tunes that have been favorites of mine since 1986. Yeah... I'm THAT old. After all these years, I'd still have to say that "Afternoons in Utopia" is one of my all-time favorites.

Good stuff, Maynard.

It's been a while

2006-02-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

So, it's been over two weeks since I last updated.

A lot has heppened and more is about to happen. But I can't speak on those topics yet.

Instead, I'll comment on this article from CNN.com. My comment:

Well DUH.

You can find out just about anything on anyone up here on the 'net. I've had credit card information stolen from up here. I had my very own web-based stalker.

I can't imagine why teenagers think that anything they post up here would be viewable by teens only. It's just beyond ignorant to think that way.

In my second effort to stop this travesty:

Dear Teenagers of America,

Whatever you post on the Internet is free for the ENTIRE WORLD TO READ (except maybe Communist China).

When you post pictures of yourself licking your lips as a joke for Billy, the cute boy in your Biology class, every single person in your high school, your city, your county, your state, your NATION can see that picture.

"MySpace" is not some joint where you and your friends "hang out" online. Well, it might have been at one point. Now it's trolling grounds for sexual predators.

Stop posting personal information about yourself. Stop posting your class schedule. Stop posting your daily itinerary. Stop posting pictures of yourself and your friends.

While I appreciate you leaving the mall safe for shopping, and I do enjoy the fact that I can go to Starbucks and not a hear chorus of "like" and "you know"... I am pretty tired of the obituary notices and missing persons reports on teenage girls and boys.

Do yourself, your parents, your friends and family a solid favor:

Unplug.

Sincerely,
Mac.

Next Best Thing

2006-02-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

Whoever decided that putting video game music on a CD so we (gamers) could listen to it whenever/wherever was a total genius. I'm sure marketing and sales folks would agree with me.

But, as I am just another consumer whore, I'm simply stoked over being able to own game music in a musical format. Today's gem is the Shadow of the Colossus Soundtrack. I got mine off of eBay for a whopping $10.00. And it's the real deal, not a burn, rip, nor pirate version. (Positive feedback has been left.)

The only rough part, especially with this soundtrack, is that I want to play the game when I listen. I hear the battle music and feel the urge to stab wayward, unwitting mobile statues with a sword. Sounds cruel, doesn't it? Yes, well, I won't ruin the story for you.

I also have the OST for ICO coming. That's something I've been meaning to get my mitts on for years. That'll get me motivated. I miss that game. It's like an old friend...

Is that wrong of me to think of nearly perfect video games as old friends? Ah well. Sor the time being, if I can't play, I'll listen.

Three Hours.

2006-01-30T21:29:00.000-08:00

A co-worker of mine commented today that I need to get out of the house more often.

Why?

I spent three hours on Sunday making this. It's not even that good.

But I made it anyway. It was an idea that'd been noodling since originally seeing "The Fellowship of the Ring" many years ago. Yes, it's been many years that the movie has been out.

Anywho, parts of my editing are sheer genius... Yes. I am modest. Suck it.

So, when you watch... Sauron's opening: timing changed. The ring abandoning Golum: edited and sped up. The song itself: 1.2 minutes shorter than original.

But watch the choreography. Things sync up. This wasn't just some lame-ass quick job... I actually did do a decent job. Again, it's not my best work, but it's good. And it's inspired me to make a new ICO video.

I made one about a year after ICO was released, using Daft Punk's "Aerodynamic" as the music. I'll likely try that again. It's VERY appropriate... especially if you ever saw the original video for it.
But who knows... I may use a different tune.

And... I may even make one for Shadow of the Colossus.

Google Earth - Ignorance is Bliss

2006-01-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

Yeah... so Google Earth is the knowledge I didn't want.

While I think it's great that I can a take vitural tour of Bryce Canyon or the Grand Canyon, and that I can see great maps of my favorite spots in San Francisco... I really didn't want to know that my house was captured.

No, this shot isn't a shot of my house. It's a shot of the gas station where I regularly fill up. But it's not far from my house.

If there was ever anything that made me feel like Big Brother was watching... that all the crazy stuff I saw in "Enemy of the State" could actually happen... that all those conspiracy theorists out there could be right... this is it.

My only consolation is that the shot of my house is at least 2 1/2 years old. Heh... it has my (long ago sold) Dodge Dart parked out front.

My God. It's full of STENCH.

2006-01-26T20:48:00.000-08:00

When you're hired on as a regular full-time employee of The Company, you get to have an exceedingly boring talk with a person in Human Resources. This person in Human Resources is usually very attractive with minty-fresh breath. The chat consists of the HR person telling you all of the great things that being a ~~slave to~~ part of The Company affords you. And, she tells you to bathe.

Seriously. It's in the employee handbook or something. "Appropriate personal grooming habits" or the like. So, basically, if I stank, I could be canned for it.

Temporary and Contract employees, are not regular full-time employees and are therefore exempt from the "You stank, you fired!" rule.

How do I know this? Well, there's a group of contract workers not far from where I sit. I have to walk past them when I get up for a soda. I have to walk past them to use the head. I have to walk past them to enter or exit the building.

I'd noticed a smell before. Nicotine. Nicotine and sweat. Well, today it achieved a new level: nicotine, sweat, and shit. Now, I'm not one to bandy that word around unless I mean it, but seriously, it smells like shit.

I came back from the bathroom, which, by the way, always stanks, and noticed their stench was WORSE.

I got back to my desk and rammed Pepp-O-Mint LiveSavers up my nose.

I caught one of their team leaders later and told him, "Dude, your people stink." He was fully aware that they did and had already spoken to them about it, but he was prepared to tell them that their stench is so foul that other people in the building were complaining.

I told him that'd be happy to tell them that were a bunch of stinky bastards, but he said he'd handle it.

I'll be the judge of that.

Oh Shit, It's Dr. Tran!

2006-01-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

Even more hilarity from this great wonder we call the intarweb.

Those crazy cats over at Lone Sausage Productions have brought us the 30,001st installment of the Dr. Tran movies: Here Comes Dr. Tran.

As you can by the image, my favorite of his films is "Oh Shit, It's Dr. Tran".

Just go watch.

It's damn funny.

Support Joss Whedon!

2006-01-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

Oh, the things we do for love.

Yes, a group of us at The Company "banded" together to purchase silicon bracelets proclaiming for all to see, who our master is.

You will note, of course, the color of the bracelet: brown. Yes... everything looks good from here. Yes... yes... this is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this... sorry. Got caught up in the moment.

Not only that, but this one trinket also denounces that flop of a filmmaker, that scourge of the cinema, that butcherer of... you get the idea. Why anyone continues to pay that person to visually assault movie-goers is beyond me.

The bracelet is brown with silver lettering. It's stylish and goes with anything. It's also quite comfortable. Sorry, but I don't have any extras to spare. They've all been accounted for. (Yes, oh Sister of Mine, you're on the list.)

For details on how to order your very own, feel free to shoot me a line.

True dat.

2006-01-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

Gamer? Girlfriend/boyfriend of a gamer?

Yeah, you'll know what they're talking about.

Check it out, it's the musical sensation Tripod!

Missing.

2006-01-20T18:42:00.000-08:00

Have you seen...?

Some are in bad taste... some are hilarous... some are heart wrenching.

I'd Forgotten About This...

2006-01-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

Long ago, I came up with the idea of writing a diary. But not like a regular diary; a Diary of an Evil Genius.

I wrote a bit of it, then... promptly forgot about it. Well, I'm going to start it up again. Maybe, when I'm done, those wacky folks over at Chronicle Books will publish it. Hey... it could happen.

Anyway, I figure that, from time to time, I'll post a random entry from the diary up here. Who knows... maybe I'll scrap my current commentary and go solely with the new format...

We shall see.

But, I shall start with this:

Day Fourteen

The plan has been formulated. Henceforth, it shall be called "My Evil Plan™" and will be kept secret until an appropriate Superhero comes calling.

Aw, crap.

If a Superhero comes around, he’ll have to call me by my Supervillain name... which I don’t have. Oh, great. This is just great. I thought I had all these damnable little details figured out and now I need a Supervillain name.

And a costume.

CRAP! I need a costume! I can’t properly vex some Superhero while wearing jeans and Performance Fleece™. A name and costume. Right, I can deal with that.

Oops on Food Network?

2006-01-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

I've said similar things before, but this is beyond classic. Totally funny.

Take one beautiful Food TV Chef. Add one either painfully tart, or just plain horrid creation, and you get... well, you get this.

Giada de Laurentis is the most beautiful woman on cable TV, in my opinion. So, that just makes this little bit of Internet shinanegans that much funnier.

The 2008 Dodge Challenger?

2006-01-18T12:45:00.000-08:00

Did you know about this? Cuz if you knew about this and didn't tell me, I'll have to hurt you.

I'll hurt you bad.

I don't care what Diamler-Chrysler says, they're making this car. They will. As long as they keep the price even remotely close to the Mustang, it will sell. It will sell so fast that they'll be kicking themselves for not making more.

And with a Hemi under the hood... the new Challenger will chew up Mustangs.

Yeah sure, Chevy/GM unveiled their Camaro concept car, but it's nowhere near as dropdeadsexy as the Challenger. The thing looks like a Cylon with 4 wheels. GM has already proven that they don't know what they're doing when it comes to retro styling. Their new GTO doesn't look anything like an old GTO, and their HHR... what the hell is that? If you're going to blatantly rip off Chrysler's PT Cruiser, at least make it look good.

...not that Dodge did any better when reintroducing the Charger. They blew it big and caught hell for it. Sure, it has a Hemi, but it looks nothing like any Charger I ever saw. AND... it's a 4 door. Was there ever a 4-door Charger? EVER? No, there wasn't. Dummies.

But Dodge is making amends with this new Challenger. And I will have one. Oh yes, I WILL have one.

Tristan & Isolde

2006-01-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

Last night, the wifey and I went and saw a movie you didn't even know was out: Tristan & Isolde. I am appalled by the lack of advertising for this film. And what's the deal with throwing it in with the January trash?

First, let me say a few things to those who claim the movie is a rip-off of The Arthur Legends or Romeo & Juliet: you're backwards.
The Tristan Legends predate the tales of King Arthur by at least 200 years, and predates Romeo & Juliet by around 600 years. It's also worth noting that the King Arthur legends stole most of the Tristan legends (including Tristan & Isolde) and even have Tristan (or Tristran or Tristram) as one of Arthur's most trusted knights. As for Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare stole it from Arthur Brooke, who stole it from Bandello, who stole it from da Porto, who stole it from Salernitano, who got the idea from the Tristan legend of Tristan & Isolde.

The Tristan-Isolde-Mark love triangle was directly put into the Arthur Legend as the Lancelot-Guinevere-Arthur love triangle.
The warring lands of Cornwall & Ireland from Tristan became the houses of Montague and Capulet in Romeo & Juliet.

There. So shuddup.

On to the movie.

The movie seems to be based on Gottfried's interpretations of the Tristan & Isolde Story, rather than on Thomas or Beroul's works. I suppose that's understandable, considering how "courtly" Thomas' work is and how brutal Beroul's is. But Gottfried's telling varies from the "original" written works in significant areas.

And then the movie takes some liberties with the legend, but honestly, they're mostly good liberties and they play well. The love potion is replaced, the three villainous advisors become one person, Morholt isn't Queen Isolde's brother but is Isolde the Fair's betrothed, and the ending is tweaked.

MAD props to Thomas Sangster in his portrayal of a young Tristan. I expect great things from him in the future.

And please oh please, let this film be the launching pad for Sophia Myles. Although the movie's film editor needs to be banned from ever editing anything again (I'm hoping for a "Director's Cut" on DVD), we could actually see Isolde's (Myles) anguish and despair, and her fleeting moments of happiness & joy all mixed together. Wonderful acting on Sophia Myles part.

As for local boy James Franco, I could have done with a bit more despair and longing and a little less freaky stalker. But this could be director Kevin Reynold's fault. I would have preferred that Ridley Scott stayed behind the camera rather than behind the scenes... but I digress. Franco had his work cut out for him and pulled in a solid performance, rough spots notwithstanding.

If you're a fan of the Arthur legends and would like to know a bit more about where they came from, this is your movie. If you're looking a tragic romance flick, this is your movie. If you're looking for gunfire, explosions, and swearing... uh... how about this one?

I'm here. You're not.

2006-01-14T16:01:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I sucked at posting up here all week. I'm sure for the 5 of you who actually pop in that this presented only a minor annoyance.

But now I'm here. And luck you; you get a BIG update. Ready?

I'm at work again. But it's ok this time. I got to day swap. So I had my weekend on Thursday and Friday and am now encased in the glass and plaster that is my office.

My work PC is making noises that resemble a Nash Rambler with a dead throw-out bearing. But as it's my work PC and I've told our IT guy about it (three times) I just don't care. Let the fucker die. I hope it actually starts spewing smoke and sparks. Then I'll get a day of solid blissfull counter-production as I sit around doing NOTHING while the IT guy runs around trying to figure it out. (Hint: THE FUCKING POWERSUPPLY FAN IS DYING! WHEN IT DIES, COMPUTER GO BOOM!)

Taco Bell has released a "Cheesy Bean & Rice" burrito. I think the beans are real, everything else is likely fake. But man, is it GOOOOD. It's got refried beans, rice, pico de gallo, grated cheese and.... fakey nacho cheese goo! I tell ya, I pretty much hate everything that's fake, (except Coca-Cola) but in this burrito, that fakey nacho cheese goo is totally grubtastic.

I caved and bought the GBA Micro. Not just any GBA Micro, mind you. No no... I got the 20th Anniversary Famicom Micro version. The packaging for the U.S. version is not nearly as cool as the Japanese version, and it doesn't have the "20th" brand on the back (damn you, Panzer!) but still, it's splendiforous. To keep my Micro warm and safe, I got this leather case. It works. It's lined with a thin layer of fleecy stuff and keeps my Micro safe from scratches, but there's no belt hook. WTF? It would be prefect with a hook on the back. Ah well. At least it's still pocket-sized, even in the case.

Jay managed to kill his hard disk drive. I'm sad for him... but that's reason number #1 why I only use Seagate Hard Disk Drives. Hell, I have a well-used, 6 year-old Seagate Barracuda 20 gig HDD that still quietly does its job. Anywho, if you know of a company that can revive his HDD, go tell him, mmkay?

Yes, Apple launched their new machines powered by Intel. 4 times faster at the same price... damn them. The new "MacBook Pro" makes me want to go on a killing spree just to have one. I know, I know... I shouldn't covet anything, but damn that machine and its deadsexiness. But I do have admit, iLife '06... over the top. I have a slogan for Apple to use, free of charge:

Buy iLife '06
Because you don't have one

He's baaaaaaaaack.

2006-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm pimpin' buddy Shawn Williams (a.k.a. Kwip) revamped site: NeenerNeener.Net. He's back to talkin' about games AND he's started Podcastin'... erhm, I mean "N3RDcasting."

Me = totally jealous.

I tried to do the podcast thing... even got all the needed hardware and software (which wasn't hard since I own an Apple computer or two)... but I found that while I have lots of stuff to write about, not so much in the talking about department coming from me.

Anywho, go. Now.

Freeways aren't free.

2006-01-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

Me, behind the wheel of a car, is a thing to witness... well out of earshot. I'm a perfectly happy driver when no one else is on the road, but get 5 other cars out there with me, and I want to kill them. Until quite recently, I was firm believer that:
1. There are 158,000 people in the State of California who should never drive on the freeway.
2. Of those 158,000 people, 99,000 should never have been given a license in the first place.
3. Of those 99,000 people, 7,000 should never EVER be behind the wheel of a car; even if they are dead and someone is playing a freakish joke posthumously.
4. Of those 7,000 people, fifteen of them will be on the same stretch of highway with me.
5. Of that fifteen, four will be directly in front of me.

There are times when I still beleive that's true. Like this morning.

I won't go into details because I really don't want to relive it. I'll just say that if roof-mounted rocket launchers were legal, there would be 1 Mercedes C Class (diesel, of course), 2 BMW X3s, 1 Ford Focus, and 1 Chrysler Town & Country burning in hellish fire on highway 101 this morning, with hundreds caught in the apocalyptic aftermath.

Fast lane means FAST, people! "Slower traffic keep right" is NOT a suggestion, it's the LAW!

100% Pure Awesome.

2006-01-05T18:39:00.000-08:00

Undoubtely, one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Listen closely. You can hear the "wakka, wakka, wakka..."

Life Immitates WTF?

2006-01-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the goobers I work with from massive public humiliation.

Fact #1 - While everyone I work with is over age 21, we all act as if we're about 15.
Fact #2 - Sugar has adverse effects on people, even after puberty.
Fact #3 - Walking while consuming a beverage is rarely a good strategy.

This is a story involving myself, my boss, and three of my goofball co-workers. We'll call them Moe, Shemp, and Larry.

Moe walks down the hall past my office, head tipped back, drinking a Coke from a can. Shemp, unbeknownst to Moe or myself, is rounding the corner walking towards Moe. Directly in front of Larry's office:
1. Moe stumbles, Coke can still lifted above his head.
2. Shemp, seeing the stammering Moe, overreacts and launches himself in freakish cat-like fashion away from Moe and directly into Larry's office.
3. Moe loses his balance and falls sideways into a wall (THUD!)
4. Shemp flys into Larry's office and lands inches from a startled Larry (BOOMF!)
5. Moe bounces off the wall and falls, face first, into Larry's office (WHOMP!)
6. Larry repeats the phrase, "OH MY GOD!" ad infinitium.
7. My boss emerges from his office to investigate.
8. Shemp laughs
9. Moe tries to explain to the boss why he's lying on the floor, covered in cola.
10. The boss says, "Stick to drinking water."
11. Larry says, "And do it at your desk!"
12. I shout from my office, "Can you monkeys keep it to a dull roar? I'm trying to work!"
13. Walking back to his office, the boss says as he walks past, "They ARE monkeys. I'd call them trained monkeys but they haven't got the training."

I'm beginning to think that vying for a promotion would be a mistake. I'd miss all the hijinks.

Old News: Samorost 2 is Out!

2006-01-04T12:35:00.000-08:00

So, a while back I posted about the best flash game ever. Well kids and crustateans, Part 2 is out!

It's fun enough, but some of the puzzles seem just a bit too derivative. I dunno, maybe the original spoiled me and my expectations were too high. I haven't bought the full version yet so I can play Chapter II of Part 2, but I likely will...

Anywho, just giving you an update.

Break's Over: On With The Show!

2006-01-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Miss me?

Little Christmas/New Year's break there. But I'm back.

You will read this.

And I quote:

"But don't listen to the talk about having shows beamed directly into your brain. That's science-fiction nonsense. Shows will be stored in the pancreas and will enter the brain through the bloodstream after being downloaded into your iHole."

Comedy gold.

If Joss Whedon isn't your Master, you're doing it wrong.

Distractionica Electronica

2005-12-22T09:05:00.000-08:00

Never one to shy away from gimicky controllers and hype, I got my hands on Red Octane's Guitar Hero. (Hey, they're a local company. I'm just supporting my community, man!)

Needless to say, it's damn fun. More fun than Taiko Drum Master. The drum game tended to annoy me since half the time you weren't tasked with keeping the beat, but rather playing notes by hitting the drum. hrmph.

Well, with Guitar Hero, you're tasked with hitting the notes. Luckily, the difficulty setting makes sense too. You aren't expected to hit 16th notes until Expert level.

Real guitar players will be frustrated by the hammer-ons and pull-offs, and will probably dislike the strum bar. But, as a drummer, they don't bother me. What DOES bother me is the guitar controller. I know that Red Octane got a deal with Gibson (aka Epiphone), hence why you see Gibson guitars all over the packaging and in the game, BUT... why the fakey Gibson SG? If Red Octane wanted to give us the "ultimate" Gibson, NOTHING is more immediately recognizable than the Gibson Les Paul. Who knows, maybe ~~Epiphone~~Gibson is working on its own full-size Les Paul controller. That would rawk.

Now... song selection.
The good:
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
The Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated
Boston - More Than A Feeling
Ozzy - Bark at the Moon
Stevie Ray Vaughn - Texas Flood

The overdone:
Joan Jett - I Love Rock and Roll
Motorhead - Ace of Spades
Pantera - Cowboys from Hell
Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water

The notably missing:
AC/DC - Back in Black
Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
The Kinks - You Really Got Me
Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride
Kiss - Rock and Roll All Nite
Anything by Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones

One can only hope that the sequel to Guitar Hero will include some Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Kiss, U2, Jeff Beck, The Police, Dick Dale...

Of course, Dick Dale songs would only be available at expert level and would need to include a seizure warning.

I must also note, that the details in the game make it truly a guitar rock fan's game:

The dials on your amp go to 11
Your in-game avatar kicks over amps and smashes his/her guitar
Tips like: "They don't really want you to play Free Bird, they're heckling you."

The dials going to 11 garnered instant laughs from me.

The crew at work have yet to attempt it, but as multiplayer modes are available, there WILL be a battle of the fake guitarists. Oh yes, there will be...

Dissonance.

2005-12-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

My jaw aches.

I roll over, sigh, and rub my jaw with my left hand. No, it's not really my jaw that aches. It isn't tender to the touch, isn't warm, and isn't swollen.

I yawn and swallow the saliva that had been building in my mouth during my jaw examination. A sharp pain shoots from my jaw to my ear.

Ah. Clenching my teeth while I slept again.

I rarely do that. Nocturanal teeth clenching, for me, occurs as often as nightmares do. Which is to say, once year at the most. Both are symptoms of a larger problem: anxiety.

No, I am not stressed about the holidays. On the contrary. It's a pending adventure that I'm truly eagerly awaiting. No, Christmas causes me no stress. We're refinancing the hosue... but that's all taken care of. The lender is sending out the checks to pay off all of our debt today, as a matter of fact. That's a relief, not a stresser. I'm not stressed at work, although-

-Pop-

Something drops onto my chest. My wife, still sleeping, has unconsciously decided that I'm a very comfortable pillow. It could be worse. I could have taken an elbow to the rib cage or a heel to the shin. My snoring has gotten worse of late thanks to Winter. It's dry. Dry air makes everything bad. My skin nearly constantly itches in the Winter thanks to the low humidity. Me scratching at it doesn't make it any better. My left arm-

-Pop-

Was that the cat? Well, one of them at any rate. I open my eyes and sure enough, a little green-eyed gray face is staring at me. It must be breakfast time. No, past breakfast time. If it were breakfast time, the cats would be bothering my wife. Since they're after me, it means they're impatient. But since it's after breakfast time, it means I'm running late.

I gently nudge cat away, roll my wife onto her side of the bed, and venture to the bathroom. I grab the toothbrush, rinse it, apply the toothpaste, and jam into my mouth. A few scrubs-

-Pop-

My jaw aches.

Nooooooooo!

2005-12-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

Appearently, Joss Whedon has forsaken us Browncoats.

Damn. Damn it all to hell.

Don't make 'em like they used to.

2005-12-20T09:02:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, I work in the video games industry. I'm also an avid fan of video games.

That said, I've recently added Popolocrois to my video game collection. (Increasing my video games collection for the PSP by 25%.) I'm a good 3 hours into that game, and for some reason, I wandered over, picked up my beloved GBA SP, and started in on Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. AGAIN.

Which got me thinking about the original Final Fantasy Tactics. Gads that game was great. I still own it and am now contemplating playing it again. (I also own a real, legit, legal copy of Virtual Gamestation, allowing me to play FFT on my Mac. JOY!)

So all this made me think "Why don't they make more games like this?" And then I realized, they try. Then I realized, hey, I'm part of "they". Granted, I have absolutely no say in what games get made nor what features go into those games, but I have the ear of a few Producers who might listen.

But I digress (just a bit). There have been games that have tried to emulate Battle Ogre, Final Fantasy Tactics, and the whole tactics genre:
Tactics Ogre, Tactics Ogre: Knight of Lodis, Fire Emblem, Disgaea, Stella Deus, La Pucelle, Advance Wars, Suikoden Tactics, Lord of the Rings Tactics...

And there are more.

A few of them are good, but mostly, they suck. Why is that? Why can't we get a good story with good graphics and nice tactical gameplay?

If you have tips on a good tactics game, let me know.

Polls.

2005-12-19T15:58:00.000-08:00

Polls frustrate me.

Opinion polls are usually taken from a one-sided demographic and are often made of a statistically invalid number of people.

CNN just posted their take on a recent Gallup Poll. (Which, by the way, CNN co-sponsored.)

Now, upon reviewing the article, you might say:
"Poor Dubya Bushy. He's just one big disservice to himself. America is sick of him and he's dragging the whole Republican party down with him."

Whether or not that's true depends upon what side of the fence you're leaning against...

But now for my point:

Results are based on telephone interviews with 1,003 national adults, aged 18 and older, conducted Dec. 9-11, 2005. For results based on the total sample of national adults, one can say with 95% confidence that the maximum margin of sampling error is ±3 percentage points. In addition to sampling error, question wording and practical difficulties in conducting surveys can introduce error or bias into the findings of public opinion polls.

"One can say with 95% confidence..." that's a crock of shit. No one speaks in 95%.

Since there are over 280 Million people who live in the United States, do you think that one thousand is a statiscally valid number of people to poll? Well, it's not.

And my favorite part:
"In addition to sampling error, question wording and practical difficulties in conducting surveys can introduce error or bias into the findings of public opinion polls." Translation: the pollsters can tip the scales however they want; on purpose, or by accident.

Hence why polls frustrate me.

Somethings Mac-ish

2005-12-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, there are spelling/grammar errors in today's title. You sort them out while get on with it.

Things Mac-ish
Gin
My sittin' chair
Leather
Mashed potatoes
Female anatomy
A good game
Staying home

Things not Mac-ish
Schnapps
Dress shoes
Polyester
Cauliflower
Diet Pepsi®
Statuettes
Going to work

*sigh*

So now you know.

Satisfaction

2005-12-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

So, Wendy's has gone a bit crazy. (Follow that link and watch the "Equalizer" commercial.) And in their madness for cardiac-arrest inducing burgers, they've used Benny Benassi's 2004 tune "Satisfaction." The tune itself is just plain techno whiz, no real biggie. (Oh, what a pun!)
No, the song isn't particularly memorable unless you've seen the accompanying original music video for it. -Presented to you here in all its glory.

Now, after seeing that, would you rather have a Triple with cheese, or a Dual Action Saw?

I thought so.

Tequila 101

2005-12-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

A co-worker here at The Company has landed a new job and will be moving on at the end of the week. I took it upon myself to get him a bottle of tequila as a farewell from the "old timers" in the department.

Having this bottle of very fine tequila (Tequila 1921, Blanco) sitting at my desk made me want to dispense some of my booze wisdom. And then, folks here at work have been asking me why this stuff is so expensive, rare, and covetous.

So, here we go:

Tequila 101

A Brief Tequila History
Tequila is North America's first distilled spirit and first production alcohol.
During their exploration of the New World in the late 1400's and early 1500's, Spanish conquistadors encountered a fermented beverage called pulque that was produced by the Nahuatl peoples. The primary ingredient in the fermentation process of pulque was the agave. As the early Spaniards ran out of brandy, they searched for a source of fermentable sugar for distilling. They experimented with the agave, which was abundant in the volcanic soils in the Sierra Madre region surrounding Guadalajara.

In 1600, the first tequila factory was established by the "father of tequila," Don Pedro Sanches de Tagle, Marquis of Altamira. Don Pedro also was the first to begin cultivation of the blue agave for distilling and in 1636, Governor Don Juan Canseco y Quiñones authorized its distillation and manufacture (so he could tax it). However, Spanish rule suppressed tequila production and it wasn't until Mexican independence that tequila distillers began large-scale production.

The first licensed manufacturer of tequila was Jose Antonio Cuervo who began cultivation in 1758. By the mid-1800's, his family fields had more than 3 million agave plants. Cuervo was also the first distiller to put tequila into bottles. Today, Cuervo is the largest manufacturer of tequila. In 1873, another major distiller, Don Cenobio Sauza, acquired La Antigua, a company founded in the early 1820's. Today, Sauza owns about 300 agave plantations and is the second largest tequila manufacturer.

What is Tequila?
Tequila is a centuries old liquor from Mexico. Like many other exotic drinks, nations other than where it originated have tried to brew it. But just like Champagne, Cognac, and Bourbon, if it's not from where it started, it's not the real deal.

Tequila is, and can only be, from Mexico. To get very technical, tequila can only be legally produced within 200 kilometers of Guadalajara. If it isn't grown and distilled in Mexico, it cannot be called tequila. But here's where things often get fuzzy: the agave plant. Tequila is made from a succulent called the Agave Tequilana Weber plant, or blue agave. (Agave is NOT a cactus. Stop saying it is. It's more closely related to amaryllis or lilies.) If a tequila is made from anything other than agave, it's not a true tequila. While it is "acceptable" for tequila manufacturers to cut their agave with sugar cane or prickly pear or what-have-you, tequila must be at least 51% agave. REAL tequila is 100% Agave and will proudly say so on the label.

Identifying Tequila
If the bottle of tequila you are about to buy doesn't say "100% Agave" and bear the letters "NOM" and "CRT" on it, put it back. "NOM" stands for Norma Oficia Mexicana, and it's the culmination of years worth of laws governing the crafting of tequila. "CRT" stands for Consejo Regulado de Tequila, the official tequila regulating body. They've been around for at least 70 years in one form or another.

Side note: the other regulatory body, Camara Regional de la Industria Tequila, is really to help develop the tequila industry, not to apply the rules.

Common Misconceptions
Now that we've gotten through the mumbo-jumbo, here's the stuff you really wanted to know.
Q: Silver, Gold, Blanco, Resposado, Añejo... what does all this mean?
A: These are all ways of distinguishing the varying aging processes that can be employed.
- Blanco, or "silver" tequila is distilled in copper (like a white wine) and requires very little or no aging. Tequila blanco is clear and has very few impurities.
- Platina or "platinum" tequila, like Blanco is not aged and so remains clear. What sets it apart is that Platina is distilled at least twice, not just once like Blanco.
- Resposado or "gold" tequila has been let to rest in oak casks for 3 to 12 months. This resting imparts a spicy flavor to the tequila and adds a slight yellow hue.
- Añejo, a.k.a Reserva, tequila is aged in oak casks for no less than 12 months. Añejo takes on the properties of an armagnac or a whiskey; taking a large amount of flavor from the barrels. Añejo tequila is often a deep gold color.
Purists (like myself) will tell you that Blanco is the only way to go. It's been said that "Blancos are a real man's drink and if you ask a true tequila drinker he will say that tequila should only be 'Blanco'" and I wholeheartedly agree.

Q: What does quality matter? Don't you just do shots of the stuff?
A: Does quality in a brandy matter? Would you do a shot of a beautifully aged Cognac? Sheesh. These misconceptions come from years of being forced to drink that yellow anti-freeze that dares to call itself tequila. You do shots of that because it's nasty and you want it over and done with. Proper tequila should be sipped like brandy. If you must, have it with lime or sangrita.

Q: Have any recommendations? (a.k.a., "I hate tequila")
A: Of COURSE I have recommendations! I'm of the opinion that if you like a nice whiskey, brandy, or bourbon, you'll like a REAL tequila. Just do yourself a favor: don't buy tequila from the supermarket! Your selection will be limited and the prices are usually inflated.

My number 1 recommendation is, obviously, Tequila 1921. It's artisan crafted by a man who honestly loves his job. Your local liquor store probably won't have it in stock, but check specialty wine shops. I've found Tequila 1921 in local stores for as little as $45.

Second on my list: Asombroso. Asombroso El Platina is an excellent way to ease yourself into a nice tequila addiction. When you're man enough to admit you like pink, try Asombroso la Rosa.

And my number three recommendation: Don Eduardo. If you're looking for a "real" tequila experience for under $40, this is it.

Now, in the "bang for your buck" department, Cazadores. While you should easily be able to find Don Eduardo and Cazadores in your local liquor store, Cazadores will be pretty cheap; coming in at under $27. Just because it's not in a fancy little jug-shaped bottle doesn't mean it's unworthy. It's a great little tequila and one you don't need to feel guilty about making margaritas with!

Q: How do I make a nice margarita?
A: I'm glad you asked. Here's my favorite recipe and one that's excellent for showcasing a bottle of Cazadores:

Mac's Perfect Margarita
1 part lime juice (fresh lime, not reconstituted, not frozen, not sweetened) -oh, key or mexican limes if you can find them
1 part Cointreau or Triple Sec
2 parts silver tequila

Add all ingredients to a shaker. Add a handful of ice. Shake well. Strain and serve up in a chilled cocktail glass, or serve over (just dump the whole shaker) in a tumbler.
Enjoy!

So now you know more about tequila. If you're of legal drinking age, go out and get some!

Saturday. Yeah, whatever.

2005-12-10T15:53:00.000-08:00

There is no weekend.

I'm at work again today. Yes Virginia, there is no weekend. So instead of me taking a break and flexing my never-used leg muscles, I'm blogging. Bringing my message... to you.

You know, just to reiterate my birthday message to Panzer: if you can't be a badass, this ain't the gig for you.

My particular department is at the whims of other departments. Basically, when they're "done", they pass the game to us. Now ponder for a moment: what are the chances that anyone is done with a game on a Sunday night? Done with a game on Sunday... as opposed to Friday? Working through the weekend, instead of taking one.

Yeah. Fuckin' never.

When I'm a big famous video game producer, I'll be sure to remember these situations and push my team to work weekends so the other 20 departments that need to touch the software can take a weekend off and start fresh on a Monday.

Believe it or not, at this moment I am not complaining because this is the 13th day in a row that I've worked. I am complaining because it's close to Christmas and I should be with my family sipping eggnog and brandy instead of working on a game made for a dead console that no one will buy. I just don't get the logic in this. Pay me overtime, adding to the costs of a game that likely won't break even at sell-through.

Oy.

So if you think working at a video game company is all fun and games... you're wrong. It's work. Sure, there's the occasional rubber band war and the infrequent chair races down the halls, but usually: it's thankless tedium raking away the hours of your life.

And half the time, you won't even make it into the game's credits. It's a damn good thing that I'm a badass otherwise I might care about that stuff. Nope. Not me. I care about making sure the game that you buy yourself or for your kid or your nephew actually runs well. I care that the game is as solid as can be. I care that brings hours of enjoyment.

That's what I care about; not getting credit in the game. Cuz let's face it, if you hate the game, I'm out of a job. And a paycheck is a lot more important than one's name temporarily glowing on a TV screen.

But still... I'd rather be sipping that eggnog.

Old. Gamer.

2005-12-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

So, Panzer is a year older today. (Happy Birthday, you young punk.) In his various thoughts on the day, he noted:

Anyway, I'm getting old real fast. I suppose it's time to start thinking about settling down and start a family of my own. Is a job in the video game industry stable enough to carry all of that? Maybe not.

I can say, with a degree of clarity that pondering a job in the video game industry is not too much different than pondering a job in other industries. It has its pros and cons...

Pros:
- Working in a leading-edge industry
- (Being or) working with the funniest craziest people you'll ever know
- Seeing new games and technology before other folks do

Cons:
- Long and crazy work hours
- Scope creep/the cutting floor/timelines
- The screaming

There are more in each list, but I'd really rather not go there at the moment. Hey, it's my job I'm praising and bashing here. But, in my experience, the key to surviving in the video game industry: be a hard ass.

Now, I love my job. Sure, it drives me insane sometimes, and yes, I'm looking for upward mobility at the moment, but... I enjoy what I do. Some folks miss the fact that I'm happy when I get to complain about stuff. Me grousing about long work hours means I'm being pushed at work... and I work best under pressure, always have.

But I must be honest here: I don't like the arguments. I really do hate it when I'm right, I have 20 very important people backing me up that I'm right, but some person who shouldn't even be in the industry thinks I'm wrong... and gets his way. Granted, that person usually winds up getting screamed at by his Supervisor for not listening to me, but it irks me all too often that I'm a position where I *KNOW* what I'm talking about but folks still belligerently think I'm wrong.

There will always be people in this Industry who (unjustly) believe that if your job title doesn't include the word "Executive", "Manager", "Director", or "Producer", that you are lower class and therefore stupid.

Hypothetically speaking: let's say there was a gaming company that has been around since the late 19th century. Let's say this company is huge globally. Let's say that they've been making game systems on which to play video games for decades. Let's say that they currently make three seperate systems on which gamers can play. For simplicity sake, let's just call this hypothetical company "Arigato".

If the "Arigato" company existed, my job title here The Company should be; "Arigato Guru - Finger of God". If I say that your game for an Arigato console will fail, it will fail. If I say that your game for Arigato is out of compliance, it is. If I say that I don't like the word "the" in one of your error messages, you will remove it.

So my job title isn't hoity-toity. I know what I'm talking about. Take heed, or fail.

But for Panzer... this industry will chew you up and spit you out if you aren't a hard ass. If you can't be a ruthless, take-no-prisoners, stick to your guns evern when you're wrong kind of a guy, this industry will suck the life from you like the Dark Crystal sucked Podlings dry.

Bushy, Bushy, Bushy...

2005-12-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

So, Dubya Bushy is having a talk at the nation right now. CNN's early report commented:

President Bush says the Iraqi people have made "amazing progress," in transitioning from life under a brutal tyrant to liberation. But Bush concedes reconstruction "has not always gone as well as we had hoped."

I didn't know it was possible to overstate and understate that dramatically. But maybe Bushy is finally getting better at this "President thing." He can lie almost as well as Clinton.

(OOH! I bashed two Presidents in one breath! Step back, I'm on a roll!)

Seriously though, I'm not amazed by the progress the Iraqi people have made in transitioning from tyranny to a loose republic. I am, however, amazed that they haven't booted U.S. and U.N. forces out yet.

And saying that things in Iraq have "not always gone as well as we had hoped" is like saying that when the Twin Towers fell, some folks died and there was some dust. (Now don't get all riled up about me mentioning the Twin Towers. It happened. We cannot hide the past: We must remember.)
So what were we hoping for? Lessee here...

Proof of weapons of mass-destruction or proof that Saddam Hussein had the capability to make them; thus justifing the U.S. invasion.
Once the invasion was over, U.S. Troops would be a small police force, relatively safe, and accompanied by new Iraqi police.
A stable Iraqi self-governing body established by June of 2005.
U.S. Troops to begin scaling back their presence in Iraqi one year after declaring "victory".

...Not always gone as well as we had hoped.

Yeah. You could say that again. And again... and again...

Sayin' hey.

2005-12-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

Here's a shout out to bloggers with whom I share something(?) in common.

First, to Christie. Thanks for bringing the House Drinking Game to light! Now make one for Bones and I'll be VERY happy!

Next up, Morris! No, you're not a grumpy old man. You're my long lost twin brother... or I'm your long lost Evil Twin®. Stop putting my thoughts down before I've had them.

Amy of Amy's Robot manages to comment on life & the collective hunch we call "reality" in a way that makes me want to sit back and laugh at it all.

While not technically a blog, hey to The Post Show.

I would be remiss (and a complete ass) if I didn't list Catherine, aka Cat. I remember when she went by the moniker "Eponine." She wrote (still writes) the first blog I ever read. Thankfully, she was able to reply my e-mails asking if she was ok back on 9/11/01... yeah, I've been chatting with her for that long.

And, of course, PanzerJedi (wacky dude and contemplative gamer) and my big sis Max Marie.

So, if you haven't checked out these blogs, please do so.

Thanks.

Yes, I wrote that.

2005-12-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

Woah there, Sparky.

I've gotten a number of e-mails (which is suprising, because no one comes here, so how could they read it?) asking if I actually came up with what I wrote on December the 3rd:

The Internet is like one gigantic episode of America's Funniest Home Videos: You laugh, you wince in sympathetic pain, and then you turn it off.

Yes, I came up with that all my own. It's from my brain. I'll even claim copyright on it:
"The Internet is like one gigantic episode of America's Funniest Home Videos: You laugh, you wince in sympathetic pain, and then you turn it off." ©2005 Mac (a.k.a. Eron)

Are we clear now?

Oh, and yes, you can use it in your e-mail/weblog/bulletin board sig, just give me credit, ok?

Now stop with the e-mails.

Disclosure.

2005-12-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

I guess there's a blogger up here on BlogSpot with a recent entry that very cleverly repackages the information in this post from the "domain rookie" who stole the information from Guardian Guide, who in turn ripped it off from Snopes. Not that I'm bashing this guy for taking something on the web, tweaking it, and passing it off as his own idea...

Ok, maybe I am.

In the interest of full disclosure, my own "Thanks" was a modified version of an e-mail making its rounds these days. I posted it here to keep it, as I do often. Things like that amuse me. The difference between what this other person did and what I did being: I stated it wasn't mine.

What this character should have done was to take that information and intro it with something like:

So, some other websites have noted that people should really think hard before registering their web domains. Here's a list of bad domain ideas that's been floating around with a couple that I found added in...

Seems easy enough to me.

In this day of rampant plagiarism, give credit where it's due whenever possible. PLEASE!

Five

2005-12-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

Ready?

Top 5's!

Top 5 Things I Dislike:
5. Unshowered people
4. Republicans who can't shut up / Democrats who can't deliver
3. Bad breath
2. Slow drivers
1. Broccoli

Top 5 Ways I Procrastinate:
5. Drinkin'
4. Web surfin'
3. Gamin'
2. Sittin'
1. Watching Firefly DVDs

Top 5 Quotes (said by me):
5. "You shall all bow to my will and call me your Evil Master!" (while at work)
4. "I'll give you a dollar if you'll shut up and go away." (while at a bar)
3. "Only if you'll get them to stop staring at me!" (while looking at my wife's breasts)
2. "You're telling me that Alabama's mascot is a red box of laundry detergent?" (while flat on my back)
1. "It's the best of both worlds: I get to be alive and unconscious." (while conversing about sleep)

Top 5 Quotes (not said by me):
5. No blood. No foul.
4. Inconceivable!
3. I can kill you with my brain.
2. Spooky evil toaster, spooky evil toast!
1. You say that like it's a bad thing.

Top 5 CD's I Don't Own:
5. Wham! - Make it Big
4. Edie Brickell - Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars
3. Britney Spears - Britney
2. Twista - The Day After
1. Ashelee Simpson - I am Me

Top 5 Beverages:
5. Guinness
4. Smithwick's
3. Whiskey (Highland, please)
2. Coffee
1. Coca-Cola

Top 5 Things Likely to Escape My Mouth on Accident:
5. Your mom.
4. Suck it.
3. For the love of God...
2. Shut up!
1. Cocksuckermotherfuckersonofabitch!

Top 5 Things Heard at Work... out of context:
5. "Ooh, right into the hole!"
4. "I had him on his back in 8 seconds."
3. "I want her to take a shower but she keeps dancing solo."
2. "He went in hard trying to score."
1. "I shot him in the head like six times but the bastard wouldn't die!"

Top 5 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Right Now:
5. Soaking in a hot tub
4. Drinkin'
3. Driving really fast
2. Playing the drums
1. My wife.

The Xbox 360 Ad

2005-12-03T20:58:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting sooner, but I've known about this since before Thanksgiving.

Let's just say that my business tends to have to know stuff like this.

But I fully agree: coolest ad I've seen in a long time.

Cynics, Bitterness, Anguish... and a bottle of Rum

2005-12-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

I'll save the upbeat stuff for later in the post. So, you know, don't tune out yet, it's coming.

Earlier this year, a teenage gal embarking on her college career, met up with a guy she'd met on "myspace" who said he was a photographer. Now, if you're a cynic, like I am, you immedately jump to the conclusion that this guy was, in fact, not a photographer; but just some creep looking to take advange of a teenage girl. Well, it was even worse than that.

Fast forward to this week. A teenage boy from Mission Viejo, CA posted a message on myspace... asking others to contact the police, have them go to his house and check the bathroom. He then went into the bathroom and shot himself.

I'm not reporting on this stuff to get people all riled up and angry at myspace. It's not their fault. I'm sure that some idjits in the U.S. House of Representatives or the Senate will see it differently and say that myspace is a dangerous force on the will of America's youth... or something like that.

No, I'm relaying this info in the hopes that someone, anyone, thinking of "hooking up" with someone they met here in cyberland will think again. Or, anyone contemplating suicide and posting their last words up here will instead, call a live human being and talk.

We all need to realize that The Internet Is Shit. You can't take anything up here at face value. The Internet is like one gigantic episode of America's Funniest Home Videos: You laugh, you wince in sympathetic pain, and then you turn it off. Try not to take anything or anyone up here seriously. (Yeah, myself included.)

Ok?

Ok.

Onward:

Last month I posted a link to the coolest video footage of Christmas lights EVER. I'd pondered if it was real. It is. Oh, and you can bet that I'm pondering doing the same thing next year!

And...

THIS is the best rum I've ever had in my life. EVER. It's like a fine congac or an exquisitely aged highland scotch whiskey. If you're wondering what to get me from Christmas, feel free to send me a bottle of this!

Thanks.

2005-12-02T09:47:00.000-08:00

The Season of Thanks.

I want to thank you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and blood from the freeway. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. For the same reason, I've stopped putting plastic water bottles in the freezer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones or vending machines because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. Also, I now check the pump handles at gas stations for the same reason.

I must add my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now use a sponge for ery envelope that needs sealing. Also, I scrub the top of every can of soda I open for the same reason.

I no longer use those cancer-causing deodorants even though, on a hot day, I smell like a water buffalo. Oh well. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I don't shop at Target, either, since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers or I might wind up getting a deep fried rat.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 100th time). Neither do I have any sneakers, but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I will be able to solve these problems when I get my $32,000 from Bill Gates for participating in a Microsoft e-mail survey. (But I am still waiting for the dancing Taco Bell Chihuahua to appear on my screen.)

I'm really not worried anyway, because I have 363,214 angels looking out for my soul and St. Theresa's novena will eventually grant my every wish.

Also, thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

So, yes, thank you all for your thoughts and concern for my well being. In the future, however, keep those damn e-mails to yourself!

(modifed version of an e-mail forwarded from my father-in-law)

Not Just the Law, but Also...

2005-12-01T08:26:00.000-08:00

...The Rules.

It's unfortunate that idiot drivers in the State of California don't read this blog, but I'm hopeful that you careful drivers (and non-drivers) will pass along this information.

Right then, it's rainy and dark. Although it's 8:30 am, it's difficult to see 100 feet ahead of you. You get onto the freeway and:
a. Punch it. You're safe in a big ol' SUV with 4-wheel drive. Let those little Priuses and Elantras worry about the weather.
b. Slow down. You drive a slow, reasonable speed for the weather. And you do it in whatever lane you're in, no matter how many cars are behind you.
c. Do your regular thing. You always keep a safe following distance anyway, so you simply adjust a bit for the weather.
d. Turn on your headlights.

Well, on my way in to work today, the answer was, appearently: all of the above.

The Law, however, says the answer is b & d. Yes, B and D. If it's raining, you are required by California Law to turn on your headlights. "Why? It doesn't help me see." asks you. "Because it helps other people see you, ya twit," replies I.

The Rules say the answer is C and D. You should be driving safely no matter what the weather is like. The only things you should need to change about your driving habits are turning on your headlights and leaving a bigger gap in front of you.

Oh, and I need to remind some of you: because you're in a big ol' SUV means you need to DRIVE SLOWER and leave LARGER gaps in front of you. That tank that you call a Suburban, or Ekkalayd, or Exploder, or Aych-Too, or whatever requires a longer stopping distance. Wet roads increase the chance of you losing traction and slamming into other cars.

...unless, of course, you're me. I've been driving my Sport Mode & DSC-enabled, full-time 4-wheel drive, traction assisted, Silverstar headlamp & driving light equipped, Land Rover Discovery Series 2 for three years now. It has new Toyo Rain & Snow tires and brand new wiper blades. I've tested it on road and off. I've had it at speeds well over the maximum posted limit in pouring rain.

I know what I'm doing.

You don't.

So calm down and turn on your headlights. It's just some rain.

Mac Mini to Take Over Livingrooms

2005-11-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

So, Think Secret published their speculations on rumors about the future of the Mac Mini, Apple's miniscule desktop computer.

While I agree that the "next generation" Mac Mini will be based on the new Intel chip, I disagree that it will use a 3.5 inch hard drive. Using the desktop hard drive will significantly increase the size of the Mini and increase the amount of heat it produces. Increased heat means a need for more cooling. More cooling means more effective fans. And that usually means louder fans.
Making a bigger, louder Mini is counter-productive. It flies directly in the face of what Apple achieved with the Mini in the first place.

When I throw my Mini out into the living room, it happily, and silently sits directly under my plasma TV. Not coincidentally, the Mini also fits directly under Apple's 20 and 23 inch Cinema displays. Using a 3.5 inch hard disk drive takes that happiness away. It also removes that silence.

Apple has a good thing going with the Mini. Think Secret's speculations would call for modifications to the Mini that would make it more like the ill-fated G4 Cube... a mistake Apple is trying to forget, not emulate.

Not that the Cube was a bad machine. On the contrary, it was beautiful and revolutionary. Its downfall was its price, not its allure. By using cheaper components and not making the Mini a small supercomputer, Apple avoided that landmine this time out. So why would they travel down that path now?

They wouldn't.

My predictions on the "next generation" Mac Mini:
- Increased FSB speed
- Use of the new Intel processor
- Built-in S-video/Composite out
- 64mb Nvidia 5200 video "card"
- Front Row with Apple Remote (on higher-end models)

I'd like to wish and hope that they build in a digital audio out port (SDPIF or TOSlink)... however, that my just be a dream.

But I wholeheartedly agree that the Mini will be positioned not only as a capable desktop computer, but as the "consumer's small, silent, stylish entertainment solution."

Best Flash Game. EVER!

2005-11-28T18:12:00.000-08:00

I found this game back in 2004 and adored it! It's quite possibly the best game ever made using Flash.

Samorost

Go. Play. Be impressed!

They're making Samorost2. Hopefully it will be out in time for Christmas!

Pi.

2005-11-28T16:54:00.000-08:00

My new favorite song.

It's right up there with Schwa and the Jungle Remix of M.U.L.E. (see sidebar for those two).

Of backs and floors

2005-11-27T16:48:00.000-08:00

I hope your Thanksgiving went well (if you celebrate it), I know mine did. I made mashed potatoes, roast turkey, stuffing (although, since it was never in the dead bird, it's just "dressing"), glazed carrots, green beans, and sweet potato pie. It was my first ever s.p.p., and I made "savory" rather than sweet so it could be served with the main meal, not as a dessert. MAN was it good. It didn't last long, I'm sorry to say. Actually, the only plentiful leftover is the turkey. But I'm ok with that. Mmm... dead bird carcass. (Yes, we had cranberry sauce, but I didn't make it. I actually prefer the canned gelatin stuff.)

And then, on Friday, I was enjoying a bit of downtime before we ran some errands and *BAMF!* I threw my back out. The main cause for my back outages is, in my opinion, the fact that no matter how much weight I lose, I manage to KEEP the bulky beer belly. That much belly pulling forward on the spine is enough to cause some difficulties. I tell ya, I do enjoy lying around the house doing nothing, but when that's ALL that I can do... it SUCKS. My lovely wifey, we'll just call her "Saffron" up here (as I often do), called the chiropractor (or, as we say in spanish "ruido de pato") and got me in bright and early Saturday morning.

As often as I bash chiropractors, this woman knows her stuff. I was x-rayed, scanned, examined, and quizzed before she had me lie down on the table. Then, *CREEAAACK!* Oh, but that wasn't it. Sure, she popped L5 right back into its correct position, (enabling me to walk like a normal person again) but then she proceeded to realign my middle back and my neck. Ever have something hurt and feel soooo damn good at the same time? I was smiling with tears in my eyes.

Today, I'm sore, but good. I've been alternating the ice and walking around and lying down since I got home yesterday. Sitting is bad (so I'm done writing now) but standing and walking are good.

So hey, if you think chiropractors are quacks... I believe you are mistaken. I was.

'Tis the Season

2005-11-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

I don't know who made this. I don't know if it's real or it's been faked.

But honestly, I don't give a crap.

It's awesome! It totally gives a new meaning to "light show". And man, talk about upstaging the neighbors! And if it's been faked, props to the crew who chopped up, edited, and sync'd those images.

Happy Holidays!

Civ IV

2005-11-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note on Sid Meier's Civilization IV:

There is no fucking way that a guy with a spear can take out an Apache gunship.

...fucking unrealistic game.

"The Agents" - Coming Soon?

2005-11-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

I haven't chattered about "The Agents" up here because, well... I have a tendency to glom onto to something and run, full tilt until I'm completely exhausted and lose the will to ~~live~~ erm, write. While I have gone crazy with this project, I haven't lost steam yet.

And today, you get an update.

For those who may not know, I wrote a movie screenplay simply entitled "The Agents." I won't go into the details of it, because I believe that you should discover the story for yourself. Now, because the chances of this thing actually becoming a real movie are about 1 in ten million billion, I'm trying to rework it as a novel AND get it into webcomic/graphic novel format.

The novel thing is slow going because I simply don't have the time. The webcomic thing... well... I've found a gal who's willing to do the artwork... 3d style. Yeah, her medium is Computer Graphics. Oh course, I totally geeked out at the thought of my characters being "persistent". Once they're created, she just dresses them up, poses them, and puts them in different scenes. It's not the simple, obviously, but the characters don't have to be drawn 3,000 times.

I dunno when the webcomic will be up, but I'm hoping for Spring of 2006.

Who thought of these?

2005-11-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

So, my father-in-law sent me an e-mail the other day. It cracked me up. It was a list of New Rules for Life. I can't take credit for thinking these things up... but I wish I had! Daym, they're funny.

Here are a few:

Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket now: water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a "soft drink". You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one
NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

Comedy feckin' GOLD.

I'll take outdated pop culture references for 200, Alex.

2005-11-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

Reading over my latest issue of Macworld magazine, I came across their review of a musical dongle. It was about a little gadget that allows you to connect your electric guitar directly to your Mac. Not groundbreaking, since these things have been around for a while. However, it was the TITLE of the review that made me chuckle:

"It goes to eleven."

Now, this quote always brings to my mind Christopher Guest as a clueless guitar player in a "This is Spinal Tap." ...Which always makes me smile.

But then I thought about it... That movie was out in 1984. Would anyone under age 25 even get the reference?

Which then brings to mind other older pop culture references and movie quotes that don't just convey a message, but an entire scene. Are they also falling on the ears of a generation that just doesn't get it?

"We go to the mattresses."
"We're gonna need a bigger boat."
"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"
"No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food."
"Pork rinds? HWWUUAAAA!!"
"I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad'?"
"Zip, Zip, Zip. No Tooth Fairy, no Easter Bunny, and NO Uncle Mikey!"
"It's Ka-Ka-Ka-Ken! Come to ka-ka-ka-kill me!"
"Inconceivable!"

It boggles my mind to think that there are people alive today of legal drinking age that have no idea where these quotes come from.
*sigh*

Ah well. To use yet another: "I weep for the future."

You heard me correctly...

2005-11-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

"Heated Bra Supports Good Cause"

I mean...

I just...

That's like...

Wow.

The Other Results Are In!

2005-11-09T08:15:00.000-08:00

Well, Californians may very well be a finicky, psuedo-intellective, whiney, mostly liberal lot, but you can't say we're not driven.

The Govenator got a resounding slap in the face from the voting masses as we decided to reject every single item on yesterday's special election. (Yes, you bet your bippy I voted.)

It's obvious that the special election was huge waste of state resources. Personally, I think all of the state-wide costs of the useless special election should come of the Governor's pocket. Why should the taxpayers have to foot the bill for it? We didn't ask for this election. Strongnbigger wanted it, he should pay for it. The bastich KNOWS the state is in deep fiscal trouble and yet he throws MORE of our money away in a vain attempt to give himself more power and shut up those who disagree with him.

Hell, I fully expect to receive a cease-and-desist order for making this post!

But hey, Arny: good fuckin' luck in 2006.

The Results Are In...

2005-11-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

...and they're not good.

Didn't get job I was trying for. And their reason for not hiring me? Well, it boils down to: You don't have enough experience in this job field.

So, I can't have the job because I've never done the job.

One of those times where the logic in that makes me want to defenestrate myself.

Oh, and I was up for an overseas gig. They were jazzed and couldn't wait to get me, but... lost the funding. They can't afford to hire folks from the U.S. right now. So they're just borrowing some higher-ups to go train their locals (who they can pay much less than they'd need to pay me.)

Feh.

This is TOTALLY one of those times where I feel like The Universe (a.k.a. God) is sending me a not-so-subtle hint.

On a lighter note, Focus Vitamin Water is good. All my B vitamins plus ginko biloba... which I always forget to take.

Make it stop!

2005-11-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

A long time ago, I was quoted as saying:

"Take refuge in the absurd."

One of my more pithy moments.

Anywho, what that means is that life is full of utterly silly moments. You can let them slip by, let them annoy you, or take joy from the stupidity.

These Three Songs (with accompanying crudely-drawn Flash videos) are prime examples of absurd. Take refuge in them.

The problem I have is with this one. I can't make it stop playing in my head. I actually WOKE UP this morning with it playing in my head. Sure the lyrics are inane, but that bass line... totally frickin' groovin'.

Totally.

Whiner Radio

2005-11-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to a lot of music vocalized by women lately. Michelle Branch, Madonna, Sheryl Crow, and Gwen Stefani are all regulars on my iPod Mini. I rarely listen to the radio anymore and have started cycling in older tunes (some listed in my radio.blog over there) to round things out.

And then I had an epiphany.

I was in the car, cruising along, punching through the FM channels when I found that the words, "Shut up!" were coming out of my mouth as I kept pushing the SEEK button. And I was saying "shut up" to all the frickin' WHINERS I was being forced to endure.

Dear LAWD, those guys won't stop it! I hate to burst their bubble, but Robert Smith pioneered whining as a musical style. He's a pro at it. Everyone else should NOT whine while singing. Grow some balls, you self-loathing little bitch-men! Stop with all the angsty "my life is over without you" crap.

All the women are singing about partying since their mens left... or how much they dig being with their mens. They're not whining. Not a single whine amongst them. Hell, even Suzanne Vega isn't whining! (Ok, she rarely ever did in her songs, but one could imagine her doing it. She's really quite funny... singular wit on that lady.)

It's just the menfolk: Lifehouse, Rob Thomas, 3 Doors Down... gawdammed Green Day has gotten into the whiner act! They used to be PUNK!

Gone are the days of men-being-men tunes on the radio. No pop songs about boozin', drivin', or swoopin'... just songs about whinin'.

...makes me sick.

Interview powers... ACTIVATE!

2005-11-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I had an interview for a new position here at The Company. I was, admittedly, pretty stiff for the first quarter of it, but I loosened up and was in a groove by the halfway mark.

You know how some folks walk away from interviews and can say, "Oh yeah. I NAILED it!"? Well, I can never say that. I never have any idea if folks are really cool with what I'm saying or if they're just going along with it to later giggle about my foolish remarks. I guess I'm just not gifted in that area.

It's a cool job with lots of possibilities and opportunity... and I'd love to get it... but I have no idea if I made a good impression or not.

Well, in a few days time I'm pretty sure I'll know how things went.

For better, or for worse.

[cue dramatic music]

Coming to a neighborhood near you: The Plague!

2005-11-02T09:23:00.000-08:00

On my way into work today, I was listening to the news on the radio. I do that. Morning drive-time radio on my favorite music stations is beyond annoying. I get enough crazy antics, people swearing, and telling of bad jokes at work; I don't need it on my drive in.

Anywho, KCBS reported this little story about an air-monitoring station in San Jose detecting tularemia. "Tularemia"... it sounded familiar. And then I remembered:

Oh yeah! Tularemia is like The Plague!

After I closed my jaw, I thought, "If there's enough airborn bacteria to set off a detector, we're in for a spot of trouble." ...no matter how non-alarmed they say we should be.

Tularemia isn't passed from person to person. Each person has to catch it. But beasties carry it around with them. From rabbits, to rats, to mice, to ticks, to deerflies, on down to fleas... if one of these guys are infected and they bite you, you've got it. If it's in the air and you breathe it, you've got it. If it's on a piece of food you eat or in the water you drink... you get the idea.

Symptoms are very flu-like and it's tough for some doctors to tell the difference.

Now, I'm not saying to freak out and board up your house, but I am saying to keep your house and yard clean. Maybe get one of those air filter systems for your house. (Which are good idea anyway, especially with the cold weather season bearing down on us.)

In short: be careful out there.

Shoes?

2005-11-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

So, what are they called these days? Tennis shoes, sneakers, walking shoes, cross trainers, trail runners, hikers, clogs... damn.

I don't know what you call them, but those things that you put on your feet when you want to take a walk, I got a pair of them. And it took about a month.

Once I decided that I was losing weight, I came up with a plan. One element of the plan was to walk. Since I spend upwards of 10 hours a day at work, and about 9.65 hours of that sitting, it only seems logical that moving about would be a good thing.

So, we (the wifey and I) started walking in the mornings. I went through my various pairs of shoes, one each time we walked, and came to the conclusion that my Doc Martens were the most comfy to walk in. Problem there being that they really weren't that well suited to walking, they tended to make my feet damn hot... and they do look silly with sweatpants.

From there, the hunt for walking shoes began. The local shops were useless. When I did manage to get a "Sales Assistant" to actually assist me, the shoes never fit right. So, off to the Internet. Luckily, all the joints I bought from had a very comprehensive return policy cuz none of those fit well either.

Finally, I landed upon New Balance. They had, what appeared to be, the perfect shoe. It was wide in front, narrow at the heel, tall bridge, moderate arch support... and the best part: retro styling. Yeah, these look like the sneakers I grew up in, but they're all modern. They arrived, I was jazzed... but couldn't get my foot into them. Heh... 1/2 size too small. I sent them back, New Balance sent me a bigger size, and now I'm styling. I'm going to go tromping around the campus here at work and see how they hold up. They're light and comfy, but I'll see if they can hold up to what my Hobbit feet have to dish out.

Huff.Puff.Damn this house!

LittleBig Addiction

The Economy is Falling! The Economy is Falling!

Seriously, what *are* my long-term goals?

House M.D. boring / Fringe rules.

The King is Dead. How Long Will the King Live?

Of phones and men.

Oh, and by the way... I've got a jar of dirt.

I'm back, and I'm mad as hell...

Oh, for fuck sake.

Things You Don't See Every Day #17

Things You Don't See Every Day #15 and #16

Fun Things to Do at WalMart.

Care to Help?

Dear MTA, You Suck.

Reason #5 for NOT taking the 81x

The Day the N Left, and the 15 Died.

Mac to Airplanes: Shut up.

The REAL Monkey Ball!

More on the N

Top Ten Ways I Know You've Never Ridden the N Judah

The View From Up Here

And so goes Chrysler

Boston: 1/31/07, We Must Never Forget

Just One Step Away From Plugging Ears & Humming

Apple Deilvers the Newton...

Resolution

The Next One.

Umbrellas: Operators License Required

days go by...

Goodbye, Pluto

Exploits of Nothing

Just Stop Giving Him a Soapbox.

Thing to [never] Do In Your New VW Rabbit

House Democrats Win Hugs From Me.

No, not a Martini.

The Day the Internet Was pwn3d.

Anna the Bot... and other stuff

I know where Matt is.

Things to NEVER do...

Don't eat horses, Snake.

The blog.

Wax. Poetical.

Amazingly Spot On

Found Treasures!

It's been a while

Next Best Thing

Three Hours.

Google Earth - Ignorance is Bliss

My God. It's full of STENCH.

Oh Shit, It's Dr. Tran!

Support Joss Whedon!

True dat.

Missing.

I'd Forgotten About This...

Oops on Food Network?

The 2008 Dodge Challenger?

Tristan & Isolde

I'm here. You're not.

He's baaaaaaaaack.

Freeways aren't free.

100% Pure Awesome.

Life Immitates WTF?

Old News: Samorost 2 is Out!

Break's Over: On With The Show!

Distractionica Electronica

Dissonance.

Nooooooooo!

Don't make 'em like they used to.

Polls.

Somethings Mac-ish

Satisfaction

Tequila 101

Tequila 101

Saturday. Yeah, whatever.

Old. Gamer.

Bushy, Bushy, Bushy...

Sayin' hey.

Yes, I wrote that.

Disclosure.

Seriously, what are my long-term goals?